February 27, 2007...10:25 am
Yikes! Male doms
There I’ve said it. Male doms scare the screaming bejayzuz out of me. And not in a way I find at all exciting.
And it’s not just the leather waistcoats. Although that’s a big part of it. Boys, they’re so over. They were, in fact, never under. I don’t care how masterful you are, you could still use a woman to tell you what to wear. Really, you want to know what to wear, boys. You come to me. I’ll do a list. And it will include not having a goatees. I mean look. You have hair growing out of your face. That’s just not natural.
(I think I might be developing some kind of male clothing/dressing men fetish. Or maybe it’s just that most men are so clueless about clothes and I have a helpful streak a mile wide. I’m such a pleaser. Really.)
But, to my point, when I encounter a male dom at an event (on the rare occasion Bitchy goes to an event) they always seem to assume I am a sub.
Dunno why. Maybe they just assume all women are subs, or maybe I exude something akin to subbery because I am such an uber incompetent dom. I think doms are supposed to exude a kind of poise and inner calm. I mostly exude a kind of baffled insecurity. (Doms are also supposed to walk without stumbling. I don’t. See the million and one other reasons I don’t like to wear high heels be scrolling back through this blog.)
But, whatever, like, I’ll be chatting merrily about buying a cage to put hot slave boys in and the next thing I know Mr Sir will be suggesting I try it for size.
And I’ll be like: Yeah, that’s great, not a sub, by the way. You might remember me mentioning…
And they go: Hokay, anyways, in you go, darling
And I go: Er, no.
And they go: Come on, try it for size.
And I go: No, not trying it for size ’cause I’m not the one going in there, Buster. Sub will be going in there
And they go: Right, right, and what sub would that be then?
Yeah, ’cause, last time I was in this situation sub-of-the-moment (aka The X) was not there. He was three hours late to meet me at this particular fetish fair. Three hours. True story. And what did I do to him when he finally showed. God, you don’t want to know. It’s just too brutal and humiliating.
(Whispers: nothing, really.)
I know, I know, I lose at domming. On every. Possible. Level.
48 Comments
February 27, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Oh I’m sorry, that post gave me a good chuckle.
Thanks.
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 7:16 pm
Fun to read, not so fun to live, Russ. But thanks for dropping me a comment.
February 27, 2007 at 7:23 pm
In my opinion, you need to focus more on walking the walk.
Making people believe is over half the battle. Throw on a cocky exterior, puff out your feathers and never let them see you weak or hesitant, no matter how you feel inside.
For example:
And they go: Hokay, anyways, in you go, darling
And I go: Er, no.
Instead of “Er, no.” Say something along the lines of “Bitches first” and gesture for him to go first. It will throw them off guard.
This may just be repeated advice, or useless, but it’s there.
Take care,
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Weell, see, Russ, the thing about that, not wanting to diss your advice totally, is that I am just so not like that. I can’t say stuff like ‘Bitches first’, in public, to someone I don’t know. I tend to say stuff like, ‘erm, right, yeah.’
The thing is, the thing I am finding more and more, is that according to my brain, heart and pussy I’m a dom, but somehow I do not seem to have been supplied with the equipment to do the job I have been assigned.
Krystal, now, she can say stuff like that. She does it all the time. Although, actually, in this situation she’d probably have just punched him in the nuts. (No, I don’t have her phone number.)
February 27, 2007 at 7:55 pm
That was one example of many possible reactions.
Granted, you need to find what works for you, but I must say with all honesty if you had that attitude around me, and we had never met, my brain would file you away as a sub, without possibility for re-evaluation.
Exterior confidence is the key - but mind you I would never promote, suggest, condone or think anything positive of punching a guy in the nuts.
If it isn’t in your personality to say something sharp back, give them a look of disgust and walk away.
And why can’t you say “bitches first” in public to someone you don’t know. You don’t know them, so no friendship lost, in public so they probably won’t pull out a knife and try to attack you, and best of all, it’s liberating being independent not only within oneself, but in your exterior actions as well.
Maybe my suggestion was a bit over the top, for you anyway, but in my opinion “erm, right, yeah” will never properly cut it.
Cheers,
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 8:07 pm
‘my brain would file you away as a sub, without possibility for re-evaluation.’
*No* possibility for re-evaluation! No even if I showed you my vast collection of tied-up men porn? Not even if we refered to you as ‘Daddy’ all night and I didn’t get at all over-excited.
February 27, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Hah. Porn collections can be faked. No, I tend to place alot on first impressions. There might be a few.. exceptional circumstances, but 99.9% of the time, acting like that, I would think of you as a submissive. Or if I disliked you, a try hard switch.
And I tend to prefer ‘Master’ to ‘Daddy’.
But seriously, to succeed as a Dom, you need to ask yourself why you think of yourself as one. Is it just the sexual/physical side of it? If so, then I have little more to say.
I believe being a Dominant is something found in all aspects of your life. Do you lead and control others at work? Do you arrange and manipulate your friends lives? Do people think of you as a Lion or a doormat?
Granted, you do not need to be in everyone’s face to be Dominant, but you do need a measure of control in all aspects of your life, and those interconnected to you.
To quote you: “I know, I know, I lose at domming. On every. Possible. Level.”
Now, that’s a submissive attitude. You’re giving up. No, persevere. Do not accept failure, keep at it until there is overwhelming success. Why be Good even at something when you can be great?
Cheers,
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Well, Russ, by your evaluation I am not a dom at all, which is going to save me a lot of time and effort in the future I can tell you.
I shall now go and put this enormous porn collection I faked on Ebay.
Kerching!
February 27, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Perhaps that’s why you feel you’re failing as a Dom, you’re missing the balance.
But regardless, I offered my beliefs, advice and thoughts, and you respond with disrespect and sarcasm.
Greatly Appreciated.
Perhaps if you spent less time bitching about how ‘great’ your ‘friend’ Krystal is, and actually took steps to be more like her, as you obviously want to be, you would be a happier person. I don’t know, as I don’t know you and after your last reply, I can’t say I really care to.
Cheers,
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Russ! Don’t be cross. Disrespect and sarcasm are about the only things I’m good at. See the rest of the blog for details.
I just thought it was kind of funny because the whole post was about male doms thinking I was a sub and then you thinks just the same.
Don’t sulk. I’m a pleaser. I can’t bear it. And I need all the readers I can get.
Go on. I’ll call you ’sir’. Just this once, mind.
February 27, 2007 at 9:21 pm
“but I must say with all honesty if you had that attitude around me, and we had never met, my brain would file you away as a sub, without possibility for re-evaluation.”
Please, read it carefully, and for that matter all my posts, and find where I called you a sub?
No, I simply stated your exterior attitude was submissive. Significant difference.
Don’t bother calling me Sir, I’m not in the military.
I can live with sarcasm, but never disrespect. Understand that if you want me to keep reading and replying.
Think on the advice I’ve given you, ponder, think, reason.
I’m a fairly easy going guy, but be careful which buttons you push Jones.
And yes, I’ve read parts of your blog.
I need my sleep, almost 8am.
I’ll check back when I wake up.
Cheers,
Russ
February 27, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Night, Russ.
Where did it all go so wrong between us?
February 28, 2007 at 2:45 am
Heh, when was it ever right?
I’ll be around.
Russ
February 28, 2007 at 9:48 am
Dont feel too bad B. He would probably classify my as a Dom, heh heh. (Forget the fact for one minute that in all the other areas of my life I am.) Whats the fun in being the same personality type in all aspects of your life? It is a lot more interesting (and fun) to enjoy the oposite personality when it comes to having fun with the oposite sex.
I think you just need to find a way to get over the fear you have of confrontation. Maybe you should try finding a close friend to practice some verbal role playing with. I dont know, just a thought
Edgar
February 28, 2007 at 10:32 am
I like the way your mind works
B x
February 28, 2007 at 10:57 am
To be of an opposite personality when it come to having fun with the opposite sex eh?
Well, to each their own, but I believe strongly in being who and what you are. To do otherwise is to lie to yourself and others.
My 0.02c
Cheers,
Russ
February 28, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Actually I think of it more as a role we are all forced to play. After all, how much success would a sub have in any line of work if they displayed the same submissiveness to every part of their lives? I would assume not much. Their are a lot of people that are forced to display a more forcefull (or dominate) role to be successful in their carreers. Some of us just happen to be good at it.
I also dont believe that just because a person is non confrontational and wants to please everybody. That that person is not also capable of letting go of that mentality (sometimes) to become the person he/she wants to be. I see it a lot in my line of work. And yes they do eventualy learn to become more asertive.
Now I am a sub, however if I were being personaly insulted in that way I think I would have probably done the Dr Jekyl thing and shoved him in the cage and asked who wanted to join him. Just because I am only a sub to females that I want to please. And that is who and what I am. And to do otherwise would be lying to myself.
February 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Creative line of thinking, you’ve actually got the brain thinking on an idea for an essay, I’ll throw it up on mine in the next few days.
There are plenty of jobs that do not require any degree (or very little) of forceful nature, or natural dominance. Writer, receptionist, construction worker, tech support (although an arrogant and abusive nature normally develops after a while), artist, chef, waitress, the list goes on and on.
And there is a difference between forced dominance and natural dominance.
But “a role we are all forced to play”? The only thing about myself I force is going to the gym early in the morning after a late night working. I am a Dominant in all aspects of my life and proud of it. I don’t go around wearing fetish gear 24/7 however, nor do I even when going out to meet with those who follow the lifestyle. I don’t see it as forced, as it is my choice, something I was doing, and still would have been doing, before I even heard arguments - Dominance v submission, or started researching alternative lifestyles.
A question if you don’t mind. You say “I am only a sub to females that I want to please”. Now is that submission always by conscious choice, or do you find yourself naturally submissive to all females, in small or large ways?
Cheers,
Russ
February 28, 2007 at 1:56 pm
It is both by choice and naturally. I am a person who derives excitement from pleasing the women I am with. So naturally if I do not like that women, then why would I want to please her in the first place? I like a women who takes charge in that area and carries her own engraved set of handcuffs.
Their is a difference between submision and masochism. I am not a masochist. Just because a sub likes a dominate women personality, it does not mean that he is a sub in all other aspects of his life. In my case it is the exact oposite. I would, not and could never tolerate being dominated by anybody in any other area of my life.
And if you think a construction worker would be successfull if he were a sub in that part of his life, then you should look into how contracts are awarded. Not to mention it sure would be hell on the job. Construction work has traditionaly been a more macho mans line of work.
The truth is that no matter what line of work you are in, in order to be successfull you have to be asertive at times. ie. The writer that has to fight with the editor about changes to their writing, the tech support worker that has to deal with a customer, or the receptionist that is screening calls and visitors to people trying to bypass her.
March 1, 2007 at 2:25 am
Then in my eyes, you are a Dominant.
And to clarrify, in my eyes - people are either Dominant or submissive. A person can show traits of both, but at the end of the day, you are more X than you are Y.
Aye, you do have to be assertive at time, but with the job’s I listed, the chances are so limited, its a forced personality trait, not a natural development.
I’ve worked as a writer and tech support, and some of the best workers were the submissives. Naturally I got along better with the Dominants, but the submissives, or if you will, those with obvious submissive personalities were the better workers. In tech support, the customers loved them, because they didn’t have the guts to yell at them or hang up, the Managers loved them, because they didn’t throw around a bunch of sarcasm and wise-ass jokes. As a writer, editors love some of my submissive writing friends, they get every detail the editor wants, completed, and are generally friendly or at least non-confrontational in it.
Alot of jobs can be done by both submissives and Dominants, but a few can be done (successfully) by Dominants alone.
Cheers,
Russ
March 1, 2007 at 7:29 am
It’s not you, Bitchy - those men are assholes. Their behavior would be inappropriate even if you happened to be a 24/7 lifestyle submissive.
March 1, 2007 at 8:39 am
Well I am glad that somebody who does not know me was able to make what he thinks is an accurate deffenition of wich type personalty I am. I am sure that if you did an honest assesment of yourself you would also find that you are naturally submisive in at least one are of your life. No matter how small it is.
The fact of the matter is that I believe the Gorean Phylosophy is pure crap. I am also finding out that those that subscribe to it will never admit that anything that proves them wrong is just pure hogwash. History is full of civilizations that were not dominate but managed to survive the natural order of things.
People adapt and can overcome anything. Including natural submisve behaiviour. And can be naturally dominate in one area and naturally submisive in another.
After all wasnt it the submisive Colonists farmers that ended up sending GEN Cornwalace packing at Yorktown? I bet he became a little more submissive after those farmers put him on a boat back to where he came from.
Everybody has both traits in them naturally. It comes out in different ways. I am sure that at some point in time you would rather let sombody else decide what to eat? Or where to go? You will not convince me that you are dominate in all areas of your life at all times.
Edgar
March 1, 2007 at 10:38 am
Thanks hotbibabe. I will take a look at your blog, although, with a user name like that, I think it will make me feel inadequate.
In other news, it seems that according to Russ, Ed is actually a dom. Well that’s just great. As if there weren’t enough nice polite alpha male subs around, why not try and convert the few there are in doms? Not fair!
March 1, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Ah but I have not been given permission to convert. And I am not planning on asking for it. So I can’t.
Edgar
March 13, 2007 at 5:31 am
I’ve run into that too - I think female doms just pose a challenge to them.
Plus, they have weird ideas. I had one Dom tell me that all subs carry small purses, all Dommes carry large purses. And if you ever wore a dress you were sub. Were you wearing a dress and carrying a small purse, perhaps? lol
Men are such strange creatures sometimes. And most of them - once they find out you’re REALLY a Domme - will admit that they “sometimes switch ::wink wink::”
Funny thing about the purses? - uh, most of the time it’s TRUE.
March 19, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Dommes with big purses…uh, DUH. Where else do you keep the rope?
I switched to clamps, so I can use small purses and confuse him. And as a bonus, eneough of the brass ones in the bottom makes my purse heavy enough to become a pervertable. Or just a weapon to use on retarded male doms.
Cheers Bitchy.
March 19, 2007 at 5:24 pm
I’d forgotten about the purse thing. Mine is quite small. And I call it a handbag ’cause of the being British thing. Also, if does not contain any thing kinky at all. If I need to dom someone in an emergency I can just use the force of my dominant personality.
*falls over laughing*
March 22, 2007 at 9:47 am
Is there some bias against the non alpha male sub ?
Or is it just more fun playing with one that may not give the appearence of being submissive, someone that you have to train instead of one that’s already trying to please ?
If so many of these alpha males (and females) who are dominant in daily life are submissive sexually, where does that leave the ones that are not, does that make the quiet easy going ones Doms ? (It sounds as if Bitchy may fit that identity)
March 23, 2007 at 2:19 am
Well if some butch-alpha-bitch wants to be sub behind closed doors, I’m all for that - what with it being so damn sexy and hot and all.
March 25, 2007 at 4:34 am
Do I detect a slight hint of sarcasm ?
And I never said they had to be or are butch.
But then, Im just an outside observer from the world of vanilla.
March 25, 2007 at 9:50 am
No. I was being completely serious. I am way less sarcastic than everyone seems to think. I must just type sarcastic or something
March 27, 2007 at 8:29 pm
All those comments, jeeeez. I was too busy thinking about leather waistcoats and just came to talk about the Blue Oyster Bar scene in Police Academy and how leather wasitcoats always remind me of that scene, but now I feel paltry.
Bitchy all I can say is that in my daydreams I tell people to fuck off all day long but in real life I am just far too polite. What you feel you are on the inside, what floats your boat, what gets you hot is often misaligned from how you actually are. I say bravo for trying to release the inner you.
Fuck the rest of them, fuck everybody… twice for good measure.*
*I can ony say this because I am behind the veil of the interweb.
March 27, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Yeah. In real life I am rather shy and I don’t like to upset people.
April 7, 2007 at 7:10 am
I must say with all honesty if you had that attitude around me, and we had never met, my brain would file you away as a sub, without possibility for re-evaluation
Conversely, were I ever to wander bewildered into a kink event and met someone with Bitchy’s attitude, my brain would file her as “hey! A Real Person with understandable responses!”
You’d fall into the “amused contempt” category and quite possibly into the “balls bigger than brain” category. And I honestly don’t care how that makes you feel, or what impression you take away of me.
April 8, 2007 at 4:01 am
Why make crass assumptions about a whole person based on a very general sexual preference, like identifying as a dom, or a sub? Why expect someone to act/dress/think ONE certain way, ALL THE TIME? Why limit yourself and those you relate to?
To me this horrible pigeonholing smacks of an overreliance on lazy clichés and stereotypes. You want to wank to some pre-formed fantasy that (sort of) caters to your niche? You want to dress up in a tacky outfit and act out that porno?
Fine.
But it’s far hotter and more powerful to actually engage with a real person… you don’t know what you’re missing…
What’s better: a stilted conversation formed from a tourist’s phrasebook, or a fluent, deep exchange between knowing adults? I’d take the proper dialogue any day.
May 1, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Uhm I’m a late arrival to this discussion but I’ll throw in a thought:
it’s not important if other people don’t see you as a dom.
Who cares?
I’m new, I really love reading your blog.
May 1, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Thank you
May 1, 2007 at 9:50 pm
You know, i used to hang out in a big leather community in San Francisco. And one of the funniest things you’d get a social gatherings (not, you know, hard-code scenes, but more like leather-fetish dim-sum sorts of things) is a game of ‘who’s toppiest’.
You’d get two big bear daddies and a dominatrix (this is starting to sound like a recipe) all playing some sort of power-dynamic stare-down, waiting for someone to blink or flinch or say ‘yes sir’.
Terribly entertaining.
I didn’t play. I wore leather if I’d ridden my motorcycle, not as some sort of uniform. I wear my keys of the left, sure, but I didn’t feel any need to flag a colored hankie or wear a little flogger on my key-ring.
So the entertaining thing would always be - and this was usually one of the new guys, the ones who are still trying to figure of if they’re really, REALLY a top - when someone decided to take me on. Because while I don’t play the game, I also don’t back down. Which means someone - those who didn’t know - would always, always decide to test me.
Good, lord, it’s brunch. But if you insist…
I think that’s kinda what you’re getting. They don’t sense ‘top’ in you for whatever reason, so they decide you’re a good one to play ‘who’s toppier’ with. WHY people insist on that, I still don’t know.
I might add though, that ‘exuding a kind of baffled insecurity’ would draw *me* like a shark to fresh meat.
May 1, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Yeah. I am a total magnet for the boys who like to play dom smack down.
And why not? I’m pretty insecure. And I want everyone to like me.
And I have very few toppy skills.
Pushover.
May 20, 2007 at 2:09 am
I’m a female dominant and I have a pretty tiny handbag. If you had to carry all the heavy stuff I do every day for work, you’d want a small handbag too. I have one of those little floggers on my keychain, but I got it because it was the color of my submissive partner’s favorite college football team. I’m sure Russ would read something into that. WHATever.
We all know by now what Bitchy is really all about. I think I’m a lot more confident than you are/were, Bitchy (and thin, sorry), but I still relate to you a lot as a sister female dominant. Going back and reading this I am scratching my head about Russ’ misplaced advice. He has/had his head up his ass. Rock on, Bitchy.
June 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Yeah, in the situation you described, if you had of said something like “Bitches First”, the Dom in question would probably have switched on you so fast that it would give you motion sickness. I don’t know how many times I have been at a fetish party when a male Dom first tried to play the more toppier than you game, and when I refused to play, turn it to the slimiest top-from-the-bottom sub. HATE IT. These guys really ick me out. Aggressive bottoms in disguise.
June 24, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Hello all, and welcome to my first comment on this fabulously ranty blog, which I’ve been reading for awhile now, and have it in my blogroll too.
*waves to Bitchy*
I felt the need to point out that I think Bitchy is indeed behaving as any Dominant would, if another person stepped in, and, unsolicitedly, instructed her how she should and should not behave in this or that situation.
Now, if any person (whether sub, dom, switch, chinese, martian, green blue or purple) just butted in and instructed a person they didn’t know in how to behave (at the same time making the erroneous assumption along the way that the result you got wasn’t the one you actually wanted), (and also by the way assuming that the instruction would be welcome as if coming from some revered domming guru), I’d be willing to bet money (not being a money gambler by nature) on the fact that the response might just not be entirely positive, and/or grovellingly grateful.
(and if that isn’t one of the longest sentences I’ve constructed ever. Ack.)
“Er, no.” sounds like a perfectly assertive dommy response to me. Hell, it sounds like a perfectly assertive _anybody_ response to me.
(I’m not one of those people who confuses aggression with dominance)
Telling a story, in my opinion, is _not_ the exact same thing as putting out an all-units-respond request for advice.
Now, that is my (unsolicited) opinion, not offered as fact.
And so what if my response isn’t so very timely? So I responded a teensy bit late in the day. Sue me.
*have made a note that Bitchy likes long comments*
*aside from the fact that I am uncontrollably verbose*
Whatever.
Great post, and extremely entertaining blog, Bitchy.
I’ll be reading regularly. Thank you very much for offering your point of view, so amusingly expressed. 
*hopes the comment amused just a tiny bit*
Smiles and waves, from
Lubyanka.
ps: I also don’t think that a person’s dominance has anything to do with what I think about it or not. You go, Bitchy. Dominate the crap out of anybody who lets you, in whatever way you want, that’s what I say.
*puts the comment down now and backs away slowly*
“Submit Comment”
June 30, 2007 at 2:37 pm
ps: I would also like to point out that a lot of males I’ve met who are identifying as doms are actually just aggressive misogynists.
I used to think I was a weirdo magnet, and a male-dom-smackdown magnet. Then I worked out that EVERYBODY is a weirdo, and simply LOADS of males are trying to smack down every female authority figure they come across. So it wasn’t me, Bitchy, and I’d bet any money I had that it isn’t you, either.
It’s them.
Really.
July 9, 2007 at 7:31 am
Dear Bitchy, as far as I can tell, if a Dom thinks you’re hot, he assumes your a sub unless you have massive 80’s style bitchface going on.
At one point a large group of leering men asked if I was a sub. I simply laughed. For a bout five minutes. Until my sides hurt. I imagined them watching what I like to do to naked tied up boys, and reacting with the “OMG my penis is about to fall off I saw a MAN in the position I like to put my WOMEN I must BOIL my EYES!” freak out that I imagine they go through when finding my porn.
The laughing gives you time to think of something clever to say, and it makes it super clear that’s not what you are there for. All I said was “No.” when I was done laughing, but no one ever asked me again.
That, and two pretty boys were attracted by my evil cackling and I got to hurt them. All in all, I think this is a “win” tactic and I keep it in my brain.
July 31, 2007 at 9:16 pm
(This is an ancient post I know, apologies for randomly commenting on it. Have just stumbled across your blog, see…
Actually, I sympathise entirely - though from a different perspective. I am loud. I am brash and bold and rude and confident. I wear black velvet and red lipstick and high heels. I am flirtatious and sarcastic and straightforward. I am also a complete total and utter sub.
I rather wish The Universe would rear it’s head and realise this. Wait, no, that’s not what I mean: I wish, as I suspect you do, that The Universe would stop assuming that my outward appearance tells you much about my sexuality and admit that it’s own assumptions are wrong once I’ve pointed this out to them. The conversation you described could never happen to me, but something that was similar in some respects happened recently. I shall paraphrase.
Man In Club: Oh Mistress my Mistress. Please to be beating me up now kthx.
Me: Ah. Well. Er. No thanks.
MIC: But oh! You are obviously a Domme of great import. I thow myself at your feet!
Me: Actually, I’d rather you didn’t. Can I go back over to that bloke there who was just calling me a whore in a rather wonderful manner now, please?
MIC: But you’re not a sub! Please to be beating me up now kthx.
Me: OH GOD I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THIS. See. Bloke. Over there. Other bloke. Over there. Woman. Over there. Ask them. They have all tied me up and hit me. Er. Go away?
MIC: *repeats self*
Me: Oh good God. If this carries on for much longer I *will* give you an order. You won’t like it. And not in a good way.
July 31, 2007 at 9:20 pm
*laughs and laughs and laughs*
Did you get his number?
July 31, 2007 at 9:34 pm
At the club I go to (blissfully, an American-style club that is not the slightly bit “cool” and also does not have alcohol or whatever), there’s a lot of variety in the male doms. Some seem reasonably awesome, emulable, etc. Others seem like misogynistic jerkasses. But they’re not always easy to tell apart at first.
However, a response like Russ had to this post gives a pretty good hint about how I’d ultimately categorize him.
I always hear about the way dommes have men throwing themselves at our feet. I wish that would happen to me just one time. Maybe if I dressed up (changing from tennis shoes to mary janes presumably doesn’t count) or was sexy or something. Oh well
August 11, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Hi Bitchy,
Trawling through your posts, found you on Abbey Lee’s and now you’re on my blogroll too.
*God that doesnt half sound like “bogroll”*
I like to be dominated and i like to make my men squirm, but only with pleasure.
So i guess like Ed says in a way im a bit of both depending on the situation.
Russ i think is a stereotyping plonker.
Its fab to read a blog like yours; a woman who knows what she wants and can get it in certain situations; but isnt a size 10 (im a 16) and has insecurities that mirror my own rather well!
Come and have a look at my blog if you fancy, but ive been a whiney whinger lately so try my first post for a true taste of my neurosis! work from there if you like it!
I’ll no doubt post on a later one…
xxx
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