March 22, 2007...9:43 pm
Kink’ll Do Me
Me (i.e. Bitchy Jones the femdom avenger): You want to know what I hate?
You (i.e. you): Oh god, here we go
Me: I hate the BDSM acronym
The acronym which stands for bondage and discipline and dominance and submission and sadism and masochism. Well that makes no sense for a start. How can the D and the S stand for two things each? I hate that. No one else *does* that. That’s not how acronyms work. If it stands for bondage and discipline and dominance and submission and sadism and masochism, it should be BDDSSM. It just should. You’re meant to keep adding letters for every new word. Ask the LGBTQQASPIO (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, questioning, queer, asexual, straight, poly, intersex, other (- other!)) people
If I read one more pervert’s website where they cheerily explain all the things the BDSM acronym stands for as if it is the single cleverest piece of freaking word play ever designed by human kind I will smash up the entire internet with my big smashy hammer. (And, incidentally, the single cleverest piece of wordplay in the history of human kind is this one.)
And WTF? Bondage and discipline? Why is that separate here all of a sudden? And with top billing. I mean, I’m a huge fan of both – you’d go a long way to find bigger, but when did someone last say to you, ‘Oh, I’m not into ds or sm but I’m really into bondage and displine. Or bd, as no one ever calls it.’
The fuck? There’s this bondage and discipline thing now is there? That is somehow distinct enough from ds and sm and popular enough that it needs it’s own bit of the stupid wrongly done acronym?
Anyway, fuck acronyms, they’re so 1998, I like words.
(And, you know, isn’t vanilla such a great word? So perfect, perfect and perfectly lovely. We have a better word for the people and stuff that are not us that we do for us. How dumb are we? For serious?)
But, yeah, words. Like: Kink. What the hell is wrong with kink? Kink’s nice. Kink fits. Kink’ll do me. It sounds like the noise handcuffs make. That’s a pretty, pretty noise. Or perverted. Or sick. Or depraved. Or unnatural. Because – face it – it really, really is.
BDSM - it sounds like an electronics company.
25 Comments
March 22, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Hilarious. Love it. So true!
- S
March 22, 2007 at 11:23 pm
(Love the new look…by the way!)
March 23, 2007 at 12:00 am
Also by “insex” I’m pretty sure you meant to say “intersex”…right?
That said, I like words, too.
March 23, 2007 at 1:53 am
Thanks Silver key. I am very proud of the look of this site now. And regularly just stare at it in disbelief that I have such skills
March 23, 2007 at 1:58 am
maymay
…and intialised abbreiviation…? WTF is that? Can you name me another, because, well, still weird. I think not-a-proper-acronym is a better description.
As for the insex/intersex thing. Damn, I ripped it all from wikipedia and was hoping it was their mistake, but no, all mine.
Now, there is a very good reason why I was thinking of insex, actually. Although the explanation involves a femsub pal and me being good and kind and trying to find her some references about cattle prods and… Ah, probably too dull. And anyway I will now shamelessly correct the post so your comment makes no sense.
March 23, 2007 at 8:57 am
First of all, I like the word “kink”. I’m as nuts over words as I am over tying men up and hitting them with leather. Give me a good word and I’ll say it over and over again just because I like the sound. Kink is a very good word. (BDSM does not satisfy.)
Second of all, the problem I have with all of the acronyms is figuring out where I fit. Having spent too much time thinking about it, I can’t find an acronym that doesn’t generally apply, unless there is one for LTDMIPP (like to dress men in pink panties).
So, it’s really tiresome to try to describe myself or reach out to others using the acronyms. I don’t *mind* them, but that’s an awful lot of letters to remember to get in the right order with the right capitalization in the right spots. I know, I’ve tried…I have to go:
BDSM, D/s, FemDom…..and right about there I lose interest completely even though I know there’s more..oh TPE, yeah, there’s another one.
(This just in. I remembered there are new acronyms that don’t apply - FLA and whatever the other one is that goes with that.)
Now — I have a quibble with the word “kinky”. (Man, I really like just writing that, don’t even have to say it out loud.) If I just describe myself as kinky, doesn’t that encourage even more men to send me pictures of themselves in pink panties? And worse, leave me open to sordid emails from the rest of the male population who are scared off by FemDom?
I don’t like sordid emails, unless they are from Christopher Meloni.
E
P.S. Fair warning - I have had a blog post entitled, roughly, “I’m Kinky not Bawdy”, half written for a week now. If you are planning on posting about “Bawdy” tomorrow, I have at least documented right here and right now that I’m not a TOTAL copy cat.
March 23, 2007 at 9:15 am
Ah, no, I don’t think you should describe yourself as ‘kinky’, just use that world to mean, oh, you know, everything.
For me personally, I tend to go with sadist - sadistic bitch if I’m feeling cute. Not perfect, but it covers the right amount of ground and it usually stops the long, boring ‘yes, but this is only going to work if I can hurt you’, conversation.
Also, it sounds kind of official. Like I have a badge.
I don’t, obviously.
March 23, 2007 at 9:29 am
Also - the capping thing is such a pain. But it’s painfulness has been well enough documented by others. I probably should have put it in the trivia post.
Anything like ‘D/s’ annoys me. I usually write either d/s or, now, ds. I won’t write FemDom either. Dom is not a proper name and doesn’t need to be capped. An dcapping up in the middle of a word is deranged. I take great delight in my little ‘About Me’ box top right where I have four different words for female dom without any caps (also, so posting about those words next week)
Proper names should be capped. The pronoun ‘I’ should be capped. These are legibility issues.
It pisses me off - but is too boring to write a post about. So I’ll just bore you and hapless fools who surf the comments
March 23, 2007 at 9:41 am
Yes, well, “sadistic” or “sadistic bitch” would scare off quite a lot of men from sending me sordid emails. Serious points in favor of “sadistic”.
Gotta say though, you wear the badge better than I do. I *am* sadistic, but I’m also nearly relentlessly cheerful and I couldn’t call myself a sadistic bitch without bursting out laughing.
Hmmm. I did get two people fired yesterday. (They deserved it. They were incompetent and they pissed me off and I hate it when anybody spoils my relentlessly cheerful mood. Do not piss me off., I like being cheerful.) They were both men. Chances are they would have no problem with the “sadistic bitch” label for me.
Thinking……….
E
March 23, 2007 at 10:09 am
Reading your cApaTAliZaTIoN comment now. We were posting at the same time. (Did you notice that I haven’t had a comment go to spam in awhile? I know, *shush* )
I’m really happy to try to accomodate whomever on whatever capitalization floats his/her boat. Except those hAcKEr tYPes who capitalize completely randomly, that’s just ridiculous.
I find “D/s” visually balanced and I like things that are visually balanced, so ’s cool with me.
“FemDom” irks me, perhaps I’ll stop using that one………..sounds like one of those clever dot com names that went bust in the Internet bubble. Those names were always just wrong.
(I can’t pick on people who abuse capitals too much as I enjoy abusing “…………….” and “,” for my sentence structure when I write online. I know how to form proper sentences, I just enjoy not doing it all of the time.)
Oh, and “()”, I abuse that too.
March 23, 2007 at 2:00 pm
D/s - no, because dominants and submissives should be equal. Ha ha - look at me. Did I fail basic? But what I mean is the power exchange shouldn’t start there. There’s a dom and there’s a sub and it’s a pretty reciprocal arrangement until you start. That’s why I don’t like D/s
CAPS - I suppose I should take your point that people can write their own name how they want. Even if their name is not a name but a verb or an abstract concept. Fine. It’s confusing but fine. But what annoys me is when the sub draws me into it (cap up for ‘you’, for example) as if that is somehow what I want (because all doms want that!). I am practically allergic to any kind of submission by stealth. Or men getting their rocks off by addressing me as if I’m superior. Sub men can be so manipulative. And it pisses me off.
And now, your sadist badge. The thing is, what a sadist is, is someone who gets turned on by hurting other people or seeing them hurt. (You know this - obviously - I know that you know what you are.) It’s not a nice badge in many ways and I have a lot of trouble wearing mine sometimes. But I have another one here, and I really think it’s yours.
(I’ll let you off the ’sadistic bitch’ one. Maybe that’s just me.)
March 25, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Just getting back to this, so many men to spank and all that.
D/s *pout* If I give that up, can I still keep my strap on?
CAPS - we pretty much agree here, I just tend to look the other way and pretend that someone was having a bad CAPS LOCK or shift key day.
Sadistic, well, yeah, I had that figured out by the time I was 14 or whenever it was I first heard of the Marquis. I’ll try the badge on and resist quoting the famous line about…”badges, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges…”
Ooops. These things just leak out.
March 25, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Elizabeth, hey now, you *can* *have* a strap-on. I’m not going to come and kick your dungeon door down. I just wish strap-on sex wasn’t so climactic in the world of femdom, you know.
In fact, I am going to write a whole ‘nother post on this subject just telling people they can have strap-ons if they want, so long as they keep them in perspective.
As for badges. You know I quite like badges. I know what you’re saying but I think if you’re a woman and you have a badge like sadist or dacryphilliac (my new favourite) it’s best to face up to it. Not that you don’t, of course… which is why I love you.
March 25, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Dacryphilliac. I love learning new words!
Now, that isn’t a major thing for me….yet, I guess. I bet they cry hard when you rip lots of duct tape off of them.
(love you too, now, get out of here.
)
April 7, 2007 at 2:10 am
> D/s - no, because dominants and submissives should be equal.
Exactly. Where’s the fun in submitting to someone who *really* is superior or actually has power over you. Staying still while She canes me is fun because we both know that I could just walk away if I really wanted (well, if I asked Her to untie me first … well if I said ’safeword’ and _then_ asked … nicely … whatever …).
So yes, we’re equals. Except when we agree we’re not. Even if we’ve agreed that we’re not equal *all* the time. Except that we know that we really are equal. Because it’s just an agreement not to be equal. Between equals.
BDS-kink-whatever is just *so* confusing sometimes.
– solipsist
(PS I use caps how I want. So there
)
April 7, 2007 at 8:31 am
Well, yeah, the point that you give it and you don’t *have* to give it is what makes it hot.
For me.
I like presents
April 23, 2007 at 1:53 pm
besides, what do we need drawers (german for classification) for anyway
April 26, 2007 at 2:01 pm
“I mean, I’m a huge fan of both – you’d go a long way to find bigger, but when did someone last say to you, ‘Oh, I’m not into ds or sm but I’m really into bondage and displine. Or bd, as no one ever calls it.’”
Just to be annoying, I’m into bondage but none of the rest.
May 22, 2007 at 10:56 am
I once subscribed to a group list for a fun little kink group that we sometimes hung out with. There were these people in the group, that when addressing the group as a whole, always wrote everything as Y/you A/all. It was really quite annoying, but also funny in a sad way. One of my friends, a switch, started signing his posts as M/mo.
July 24, 2007 at 6:02 pm
My god Bitchy…are there no ends to your talents. Sadism, wordsmithery and a knowledge of Highland football. Jings.
August 14, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Sorry, I only just saw this comment.
So to be completely flirtatiously ornery I decided to reply:
Yeah, how about OB-GYN or DNA. An acronym is technically an initialized abbreviation pronounced as a word, such as NATO, but whatever.
No need to explain. I know exactly what insex was. Fucking lucky femsubs if you ask me; you might actually like my upcoming post about, well, not cattle prods, unfortunately.
Glad my comment makes no sense now, by the way. I like making sense only to myself sometimes. Makes people think I’m really smart or “experienced.”
August 14, 2007 at 6:47 pm
BDSM is pronounced as a word - beedeeessem. Don’t say smart things to me. I am really tired. I probably got up before you went to bed.
Insex. Meh. Fucking lucky mandoms. Kink dot com makes me cry with jealousy very often. Shamefully often.
I am now going to go and refresh your journal until you write about cattle prods because I have misunderstood your comment
August 14, 2007 at 8:33 pm
It’s hard to avoid that when there aren’t foreign objects in or over my mouth.
Yeah…yeah, me too….
January 24, 2008 at 3:35 am
Fabulous post! I hate the capitalization game. Doesn’t everyone deserve to be a proper noun? And I agree with you about the title of that football piece. Ingenious!
January 27, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I agree.
Yet not with the part about the single cleverest wordplay. Wasn’t there the one about Ghandi, frail at the end of his life complaining about his sore toes from all the walking about and telling people good stuff, and his bad breath from all the vegetables and shit, and described as:
a super calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.
Ah well…
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