March 26, 2007...10:05 am
Fuck Me Again
But you do have to fuck me once before you can fuck me again. (Also, calling a post ‘Fuck me’ will get you a lot of disappointed hits from Google.)
But now, some follow up - a small caveat about the last post and a big bunch of stuff about sucking cock. Hooray!
First, I should make this clear. I don’t have to close my eyes for strap-on sex scenes. I’m not bothered about doing it myself (as I am a lazy inconsiderate do-me top and I don’t bother with anything that doesn’t turn *me* on) but you *can* sell me on strap-on stuff in porn and fic if you fiddle it right. Beat him really hard beforehand, say, so it really does hurt and you can have me. Every last bit. Or, if he has never had it done before and he is genuinely scared. Or, if *he* can sell me the fact that it is a real and genuinely hard humiliation limit for him. Yeah, you got me.
And if he cries, fuck it, you own me and you will not hear a single complaint
I am not allergic to strap on fucking like I am to stiletto thigh boots. But I still think its importance in femdom sex needs to be rethought. And I think we need to stop pretending that (a) dom women have cocks, (b) that women get *physical* *sensorial* pleasure from fucking a man with a strap-on and, (c) that dom women don’t have vaginas or that getting fucked in your vagina doesn’t feel fucking nice. Especially when you are lying on your back being done to.
So, if you are a dom woman and you love doing your boy up the arse with a strap on. That’s fine. But you should still have reason to pause for thought about the way it is portrayed in the wider world of femitydomity unless you think it is better than having actual sex using an actual part of your actual body. Unless you are okay with it being the pinnacle, the ultimate, the femdom come shot - as I so artfully put it before.
Unless you think that every piece of dom-sex should end with the dom sticking it in the sub.
If it’s just something you like to do sometimes. Okay, fine. Do it. Shut up and do him hard. And hit him from me while you’re doing it because the fake cock on its own doesn’t actually hurt that much.
Now, if you like making him suck your fake cock – again fine, but that still doesn’t make strap-ons more important than vaginas.
And listen, here’s an inconvenient truth, I would rather suck *his* cock than have him suck a fake cock bolted to me. I *like* sucking cock. I don’t do things I don’t like and I have no desire to ‘get revenge’ on men for all the cock sucking I have done. Besides I can suck cock from the top. Really. On my knees and everything. And I prefer that. I prefer skin touching skin. It’s this weird fetish I have for, you know, having my nerve endings stimulated.
Plus, I’m the top. I can do *anything* and still be the top. Because it isn’t what I do it’s what I am. Even if most of the time I don’t act like it. It is still what I am.
But, okay, him sucking fake cock. We can talk about that.
Sticking things in his mouth.
Now, I have an oral fixation that borders on a fetish. I love having men suck and lick stuff. I also love gags and lips and salvia and those dental things that hold the mouth open (oh, motherfuck! now there’s a kind of vulnerability I can get a lot out of) and moans and tongues and, yeah, mouths, god, nice. But if he’s going to suck and lick stuff around my crotch – there’s way better stuff I have for his mouth to pay attention to down there. Having him suck a dildo that is attached to my crotch is just going to be beyond annoying.
In fact, I reckon a pretty scrummy frustration torture for a male sub would be to lock up his cock for a while and then put a strap on him and get on your knees and have him watch you suck it. God. Hot.
And I probably seem so obsessed with sucking cock now that I sound like I have switched sides and am going to started burbling on about the joy of skull fucking and how much I love to gag on his hard length. Well, you know, I’m not (obviously) but there just isn’t enough about cocksucking in femdom. Male doms stick their tongues into their sub’s pussies. They do. I know.
Giving pleasure - especially when he is tied up and clamped and confused to fuck by the change of tack - is fun. Nice. Even for a fucking horrible bitch like me. Mouths are important and I like mine to get used too. (Shall I do a whole post about kissing or can you just guess what I think?) Besides, cocksucking can practically be CBT if you do it wrong right.
46 Comments
March 26, 2007 at 11:59 am
WOW, now were talking.
You can do a lot of Domming from your knees, especialy if you tie the subs hands and not let him cum right away.
I say throw away the strap on and use the real thing. Its about control, not the equipment.
And to a sub male you already have the best equipment for the job.
March 26, 2007 at 1:43 pm
It seems the sub-hubbies and wannabes that feel that fellatio is something nasty. And you often get the impression being afforded an hour’s conventional coitus would just break their hearts.
“I demand that you not let me have any fun!”
March 26, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Thanks Ed, it’s true, I often have a sneaking suspicion I have all the best parts right here
March 26, 2007 at 1:54 pm
You see, Richard, I’m sure you know this, but getting someone aroused and even letting them come sooner or later is a very nice way of having control.
And sucking cock is just, well, more fun than watching someone suck a piece of plastic. (And I actually quite like watching a sub guy suck a piece of plastic.)
March 26, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Sounds like you know what you like and how to get it.
March 26, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Would it be rude to respond to this comment with hollow, bitter laughter?
March 26, 2007 at 3:53 pm
You bring up a lot of interesting points about the way we (as a society) view the penis.
I love to suck cock, too. I don’t see anything submissive at all, about having teeth so close to a man’s cock.
I think a lot of men - practice phallus worship. Probably more so than women. I don’t think they even realize it. The penis is not so much a symbol of maleness (although it is certainly that) but a symbol of power.
I don’t know many men who want a smaller dick. The bigger the better, as far as they’re concerned. Despite the fact that really large penises, hurt, and a gargantuan penis is not necessary to give a woman pleasure - they don’t care. They want a large dick so it will bounce off their thighs when they’re walking in the locker room. It’s a display of power.
It’s not like we’re going to get away from dick=power symbology anytime soon. Phallus worship has been going on for thousands of years - there are temples in Japan dedicated to phallus worship, even. For us as dominant women, sucking cock is a way control that power. For men, being fucked by it - is a way to be controlled. It’s not the *only* way, by any means, but it is very much ingrained into their psyches.
Might as well have fun with it
March 26, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Well, yeah, men worship cocks and this is - as you point out - old, old news.
But they don’t need to start worshipping them to the extend that they think they are the only route to sexual pleasure.
Don’t know about you, but I’ve found quite a few.
March 26, 2007 at 9:39 pm
I am LOVING your blog!
Refreshing, insightful … brutally honest.
I still want a strap-on … but hey, each woman to her own!! *smiles* I did however, find an *interesting* use for my double ended dildo when my girlfriend was unavailable … My “toy” is such a good boy!!
Kisses,
~A~
March 26, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Thank you
March 26, 2007 at 9:58 pm
May I just add, folks, that what seems to be overlooked quite a bit in all of the Femdom chastity, denial, and women-hating-cocks-except-for-the-plastic-ones-atatched-to-them, is this simple little thing.
A man is at his most vulnerable, powerless, helpless state when orgasming.
And having the power to make that happen, or not, however you want it to happen; and even more so, having that power willingly handed over to you …that is what’s hot. And, it’s tangible, REAL power.
March 27, 2007 at 6:39 am
I have never understood why a woman controlling a man with her mouth was considered somehow submissive. I had to assume that nobody had figured out how to do it the right way, ‘cept me.
I was wrong.
BTW, I so love your theme in the Fuck Me and Fuck Me Again that’s once you are the dominant one you can pretty much do anything and still be dominant.
I’m generally not a fan of man on top sex, mostly because I get claustrophobic, which is a mental health issue, not a d/s one. But I so get what you are saying and you knew I would.
(go to spam, not go to spam, we’ll see shortly)
E
March 27, 2007 at 6:44 am
No, not spam.
Man on top combines lots of my favourites including me lying down and his arm muscles under stress. I’m sorry you miss out.
March 27, 2007 at 6:48 am
Oh and Ms.R. - yes, you’ve hit why I don’t understand chastity devices and such. I’m not turned off by them, I just don’t get them or what they would do for me.
I get huge amounts of fun out of making a guy lose control, not helping him keep it.
I understand the theory, it just doesn’t do anything for me.
March 27, 2007 at 6:50 am
Bitchy - yeah, I know I’m missing out. I could enjoy it in porn if anybody ever did it decently there (not likely). In reality, I pretty much feel like I’m in a closed elevator after a minute and then it’s hard to concentrate on anything else. You don’t want to see me in a closed elevator.
Might be a control issue.
March 27, 2007 at 7:22 am
Could be a control thing. I am a *bit* jumpy in enclosed spaces (but only a little.) And once someone told me about a kinky club’s group outing to a theme park and that none of the doms could cope with the roller coasters.
I don’t normal prescribe to this sort of thing - but I know *I* certainly can’t cope with roller coasters and it is to do with loss of control.
Also - re:male orgasms, yes! Although I do have a chastity device. I like it both ways, I guess.
March 27, 2007 at 10:21 am
LOL, roller coasters!
I did it for my kids when they were younger and needed me to get on the ride. HATE does not describe how I feel about roller coasters strongly enough. It has to be a control thing. I love the picture of an outing where none of the doms could get on a roller coaster.
I have control issues out the yin yang. I’ve been trying this experiment at work where I don’t sit at the head of the table in a meeting, challenging myself, after all, I’m already in control…it’s cooler not to sit at the head. Cooler to just stroll in and plop myself anywhere.
Can’t do it. My skin starts to crawl with all of the bodies in there. I had to rearrange myself the other day with a meeting half started, mumbling something about a faulty chair I was sitting on. (And if I’m ever in a meeting that I’m not in control of, I’m a disaster.)
Yep. Just a few issues. *rolleyes*
E
March 27, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I really do love you, Bitchy =)
I’ve got the whole thing about men sucking too. When I see a guy across the room sliding his pen in and out of his mouth as he’s thinking…well, it’s enough to make my legs go weak.
Keep blogging; I love it =D
March 27, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I get guys to suck their fingers for me a lot. It is a bit of a compulsion
March 27, 2007 at 10:59 pm
DAMN! Have you really had 17,900 hits in three months?????
I mean how is that possible?
Well you talk about DOM Fetish and I talk about being a Vicar but like…still….
THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD…
PS Great blog! Loved it!
March 27, 2007 at 11:28 pm
I’m as amazed as you are, believe me
March 27, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Woah! You’re a real vicar? A *vicar* vicar? I assumed it was some kind of kinky rubber vicar thing.
Wow.
Would you like some more tea?
March 29, 2007 at 12:27 am
As usual, a wonderful entry.
I’ve long hand debates (well, heated conversations mostly) about what the submissiveness or dominant-ness in cock sucking is and it always ends up with the point that the power exchange in the intent, not solely in the action.
And, of course, this is the case for everything, as you mentioned, not just cock sucking. When my girlfriend and I have me-on-top sex, she’s still totally in control.
March 29, 2007 at 8:25 am
Thanks. I love your blog. I know I’ll enjoy what you have to say.
April 9, 2007 at 3:57 am
What a fantastic post! I, too, love sucking cock though prefer not to give it too much to my hubby (which has more to do with my obsession about not damaging my teeth on his piercings than about it being subby).
I loved your idea of locking a sub in chastity and then sucking his strap-on. We tried a similar thing where he was in chastity and fucked me with a strap-on but I hated the unreal feeling of the dildo, though it was pretty humiliating for him.
Over the years I’ve been amazingly disappointed with tons of dildo/strap-ons supposedly made by women for women that just didn’t do anything for me. I’m not sure who those double-ended dildo things are for — certainly not me. I’ve got one strap-on that works great for me (gets me off) but if given the choice, I’d much rather fuck, too.
I also think the human body and imagination are so varied that no one design or one fantasy is going to suit everyone. Thank god!
Again, great post.
April 9, 2007 at 7:45 am
Well thanks. What piercings does he have? It’s not something I’ve ever had a problem with.
April 9, 2007 at 11:13 pm
mmmm such a provocative post… and blog. I will take my time and savour it. My experience as a sub is much closer to what I read here than what I see everywhere else.
Anyway… memories old and new came flooding in. I’m 52 now and currently under the thumb of a 38 year old who has tormented me for 2 months. She is in complete control and gave me head for the first time just last week. She dictates what will happen and has kept me off balance, stoking my desire for her and generally fucking with my head. The crazy thing is that she’s not a Dom (not self-described) - just naturally this way. Maybe it’s me interpreting her actions but goddam she’s doing things to me emotionally that have never been done before. She certainly enjoys the sexual things we do. But she’s only letting things inch forward … and it just makes me weak in the knees.
Before her was a more “conscious” Dom who, like you, ruled from below (although she did want to fuck me with a strapon). She was quite happy being on her back and flogging me as I fucked her.
There was a lesbian couple who enjoyed smacking me around one minute and then going down on me together the next. They often made me jerk off- their pleasure was seeing me ejaculate, naked in front of them while they were fully clothed. They also liked to strap a cock to my face and fuck it- tormenting me with their cunts just out of reach. And then one would hop on the real cock and ride me to exhaustion.
Keep up the good work BJ, it’s refreshing to read something real.
April 10, 2007 at 5:36 am
He has both a PA and an ampalang. The ampalang isn’t as much of an issue. The PA has been stretched over the years to a fairly large gauge and the ring and ball hit on my back molars sometimes. This issue is exacerbated by my slightly abnormal obsession with my teeth.
On a completely different note, I wondered if you had heard of Bob Flanagan and whether he garnered any interest in the UK?
April 10, 2007 at 7:06 am
My most regular partner has a PA, but it is not a large gauge. You could try putting a condom over it, though.
I’ve heard of Bob Flanagan
April 11, 2007 at 12:11 pm
We usually take the piercing out if I feel like sucking cock but that pretty much gives away what I am planning to do, and I prefer surprises.
Just wanted to let you know that this post inspired a serious torture session in our house, all based on the notion that you can top while sucking cock.
May 9, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I shake my head in utter disbelief when I read or hear a reference to cock sucking as a submissive act. A man restrained (hell even unrestrained), with his cock in some sadist’s mouth….Christ, if there is a more vulnerable position I know not of it. Let’s add to that some beads or a plug up his ass, and the potential for him to swallow his own cum after I’ve forcefully pried his mouth open and dripped it in….. unless of course I decide to just spit it in his face, you know… for fun. My fun, that is. Or perhaps… and I know this must sound really submissive… I might just keep all that cum for myself… and swallow it - gasp!
May 9, 2007 at 6:47 pm
I like to keep it in my mouth, on my tongue, and sort of lick it up the side of his face, just in front of the ear, from jawline to temple.
And then have him leave it there.
July 9, 2007 at 5:41 am
I love missionary sex, and I’ve had some dirty looks from people who tell me that Twu Domme’s don’t get fucked.
What the hell is the point of all this wonderful, hot, sexy, panty-creaming fun if I’m not going to get off hard at the end of it? And if I like getting off by sucking dick or getting fucked when I’m on my back, why not?
You’re preaching to the choir. Amen! I love your blog super much.
October 16, 2007 at 4:20 am
I don’t get it. Sorry, but I consider myself intelligent, technologically advanced, sexually aware and liberal minded but this site is a mess and I just don’t get it!
October 17, 2007 at 11:11 am
What can I say, Mike? I’m so sorry.
Perhaps another blog might suit you better.
November 4, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Perhaps, or, you could teach me to understand the flow of the site.
We could discuss the sexual aspects later!
As a Dom, for example, how do you get off?
November 4, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Um, sexually dominating people…
Sorry, is this a trick question?
November 20, 2007 at 5:55 am
No, not a trick question. You mean you get off sans physical contact? Interesting.
November 20, 2007 at 11:19 am
Have you read any of my blog, at all?
November 20, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Dominating men makes her hot and wet. Fucking these dominated men makes her come.
For a two-sentence summary, is that about right, Bitchy?
November 20, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Well kinda. Oh, except for that I don’t really use the word ‘fucking’ to describe what I do to men. I’ve been in femdom too long that even thought the rest of the world uses ‘fucking’ to mean PIV sex in a reflexive way - I now think of me ‘fucking’ him in the strapon up arse way.
And it doesn’t quite make me come.
I like to hurt men, then get fucked, then have a bit of clit stimualtion to make me come would be bang on the nail. Sorry, you were eloquent and I was woolly and no-but-ish.
BJ x
November 24, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Yes, I read your site, although it didn’t seem to flow well.
I do get the picture now. We males can be think at times!
Where might a male get a taste of this venue?
December 10, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Bad flow? I can only apologise.
December 11, 2007 at 12:15 am
No need, it could be me. I’ll bend over now.
December 11, 2007 at 12:25 am
Why? Do you feel unwell?
December 11, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Yes, I could use a checkup!
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