Previously/Suggested Reading Order for people who treat this blog like, I don’t know, a text book or something. (Text book fans, here is a great sex blog which is kind of like a text book. Well it’s not a bunch of hysterical whinging and it contains actual facts. That’s a text book, right?):
Bitchy Jones: The Unprofessional
So What Am I Worth
I <3 Male Submission
Stupid time reversing blogs. Also, I’m going to drop pay-for-play after this post, btw, promise.
Anyway, point 3, the last point.
3. If I could pay a man to submit to me, I would.
No matter how much I complain about the prodom dynamic, there is a black weight of hypocrisy in my heart because I kink hard for paying a man to submit to me.
I know what you’re thinking, I think submission is the most amazing thing in my world. Surely I think it’s priceless. Beyond monetary worth. And you know, I *do*. That’s why I think it would be so hot if a guy had to sell it to me. If he was so desperate he had to let it go at way below its market value of ‘priceless’.
What do you reckon? He’s a really hot guy? £750? £1,000?
Those kinds of figures work for me. Got to be significant lump of money. Within my reach that I would do it, but enough for him to be suitably desperate to do anything for it.
*Anything*.
Fuck, though. More money = more desperate.
Which is where I start thinking, fuck it, this is a fantasy. Let’s make it £10,000. I’ll get a loan. I get him for a week. The more money it is the more it turns me on. Sometimes this fantasy involves second mortgages.
Can you masturbate about taking out a second mortgage? No? Just me and the findom guys then.
Oh yes, his submission *is* the most beautiful thing in the world. But it’s the only thing he has left to sell. And he has to eat/settle his debts to gangsters/pay for his sister’s operation.
He doesn’t *want* to. Maybe he’s vanilla really or just not all that into pain and knows I’m a sadist. But he really needs the money.
And he’s going to have to let me do anything I want to his body.
And I want to do terrible, terrible painful not-really-consensual things
So he doesn’t really have any say, but he does just ask me – please – if he can be bound, because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to hold still for it by himself. And so I loop the chain from his handcuffs over a bolt high on the wall (which is very irresponsible and should only be done in wank fantasies). I have the money in a big wad of notes – fresh from the bank – and I let him have some of it in his mouth to bite down on while I hurt him. So he never forgets why he’s doing this. That he sold this pain to me.
He’s going to have to be careful not to drool too much or bite down too hard on that money.
18 Comments
April 15, 2007 at 5:05 pm
You are so perverted, Bitchy, but that turns me on quite a lot. Is that odd?
Anyway, I can see where paying a guy would fit into your fantasies like this too. If you like making men submit then them submitting because they *have* to, because they *need* the money, kind of fits in.
Makes sense, really. In the same way it would make sense for a sub paying a prodom to hurt him; it fits in with their fantasties.
Love the Blog, and love you =)
April 15, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Yep that works – I’m impressed.
April 15, 2007 at 6:24 pm
i guess their desperration and the idea that they are only doing it cos it’d be their only option adds to the feeling of power..
April 15, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Money is a sexy premise, no doubt about it, since money and power are entwined for all time.
Yes indeed.
In *fact*, I have a wicked idea. Remember the guy we were talking about in the other comment section, the one who told you that you were so good, you could go professional?
Next time (and I am so serious) something like that happens, say “Oh, no, here’s $20 for you.” And give him a, you cheap whore, kinda look and hand him 20 (which would be pounds and not dollars but I have no idea where that key on my board might be).
Or the right amount. It would have to be the rate for a blow job from a druggie in an alley.
E
April 15, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Hi
!
?
How I understand this,lol!But I’d like to ask you how would you feel if he sold his pain to you,because he wanted,and not because he had to pay gangsters or save his sister
Like Elizabeth said,money and power always walk together,and,let’s not be hypocrite about this,BDSM relationships are also about power.
From my “sub” point of view,if a dom sold me his domming services because he needed to save an orphanage from misery,well…I’d probably pay the orphanage,but I wouldn’t hire his services.I think the fact a “bigger” plan was the goal would put me off: ” yes, I’ll dom you and humiliate you and spank you because a lot of children may loose their home!” I just want to pay them and allow them to use their creativity,without moral excuses behind.
Of course we might think the orphanage thing was just an excuse for being a dom…and,that would make things quite more interesting for me…but this really arises important “fantasy” questions.
April 16, 2007 at 2:39 am
Ha! The wad of cash takes the victim’s sexual tastes out of the equation. He’s driven by desperation, not by testosterone.
You complete a professional transaction while subverting the male fantasies that dominate for pay relationships.
Anyway, if you’re making a second-mortgage size payment, you should dole it out in increments for each act completed. Dignity surrendered a la carte.
April 16, 2007 at 4:01 am
Oh, this is totally spot-on for me to. It’s the helplessness in knowing I was so desperate for the money that makes sexualizing the monetary economics so hot. But again, while that could called the “pay-for-play” topic, I don’t at all subscribe to the notion that this is the “professional BDSM” topic. There’s certainly a distinction between these things.
That said, apparently Eileen once gave me a five after a fisting scene, but I was too drunk to remember it. The only part of the scene I regret is my lack of memory about it afterwards, because what I do remember was amazing.
So there’s a whole new can of worms.
April 16, 2007 at 6:47 am
and… *I’m there*
Great post!
April 16, 2007 at 7:34 pm
OK, I was going to try to make some kind of useful comment about commercial BDSM from a politicised sex work point of view, but the back of my head’s kind of fallen off and I can’t stop wriggling . . . tell us what happens next!!
April 16, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Wow. So many interesting comments I practically have an appendix of a comment in response. I wrote it out in textpad. I am that serious.
Even though I do get the trivial amount of money/backstreet hooker type vibe – in that, I get why that is sexy – my preference is for a more substantial amount of money. If he were doing it for five pounds, well, surely there’s some kind of complicity there. And I’ve role played those things too. Little amounts of money. It never really ticks the boxes for me. If he needs £700 to make his loan payment. That’s different. And way hotter. Although I do get the insult factor of the tiny amount. But he doesn’t really need it and that’s the difference.
And if what you are doing to him is terrible enough, the amount can still be insulting. If you are going to, say, just off the top of my head, cage him for a week, keep him nude, have the handcuffs so tight his wrists start bleeding, cane and thrash him beyond helpless tears to get off, make him beg for that, restrict his food and drink, cut words into his flesh, objectify and degrade him, shave him, force him to crawl. All that *stuff*. For a week. And with no other way he can get the money. Then, you know, whether it’s £5 or £700 it’s still pretty fucking insulting to make him sell me that for that amount.
Which is, you know, nice.
So, big money, biggish. I don’t deal in millions. Because the fantasy is always about me. The actual me. I don’t have millions. Or anything near. I don’t want to be a version of me with unlimited financial resources. (I hate unlimited financial resources – it’s cheating.) I want a solid lump of money that I will feel going out and he will feel going in. I want it to hurt *me* bit. I want to see a gap on my bank statement. Maybe I am looking for a little bit of penance there. I kind of like the idea of going into serious debt in order to beat men senseless. I think that is hot.
I think that is romantic.
God, I am so fucked up.
I am not sure about the guy who wants the money to save orphans from sharks. If he is benevolent. Sacrificing himself. Well, there is a hot button about the good man. The man who doesn’t deserve it. The man who is surrendering himself to something awful out of pure goodness. It is hot to think of hurting a man like that. Of making him suffer horribly because he is so pure.
For that reason I can kind of enjoy service submission (is that out style – no one ever talks about it anymore?) if there is an understanding between me and him that the better he is the *worse* I will be. Because it’s really hot when they don’t deserve it. If you are mean.
I’m mean.
Mean and romantic.
But I can live with that if you can.
April 17, 2007 at 6:32 am
daaaamnn… You are mean
I completely get where you’re coming from on this. I personally wouldn’t want to pay, but I do sometimes fantasise about winning a bet etc. which the lady in question has to honour by suffering all manner of humiliation, degradation and servitude.
mmm… ‘on head nail the hit’ – Put into the right order and thats what you’ve done BJ.
April 17, 2007 at 10:37 am
Gosh it’s hot in here!
Um I have a question and it’s off topic….but it’s a question…
Are you an emotional person Bitchy?
Oh by the way. You’ve asked twice now about Tea. Yes I’d love a cup. I gave up ciggies 14 years ago and I managed to do that by having a cupper every time I wanted a fag.
20 a day!
14 years later and I still need tea on a regular basis. Tea is better than almost anything.
Damn I’m such a Vicar!
April 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Yeah. I think so. I mean, obviously I only know about being me. But I feel like I *feel*.
I’m not good at being aloof or emotionless. I’m passionate, I think. If I believe stuff I really, really, really believe it hard. (Guess you know about that.) If I’m angry aboiut something I’m really damn fucking angry.
Oh, and I fall in love so much and so hard. But sometimes if a person lets you hit them you are just so damn grateful even if they enjoy it.
I have a hair-trigger heart.
April 21, 2007 at 5:23 pm
most people “into” power play/interesting sex (whatever your label) are emotional – and the better for it to my mind. Too many of us (Im thinking Cafe Flesh here) are voyers (sic) to the shining stars who can express themselves like you have. I love this post and thank you for sharing – I will be thinking of something interesting for a while for a change!
May 23, 2007 at 6:48 pm
This is so hot. I would definitely do this. I used to be a stripper and I think one of the things that drew me to that was that I got off on being objectified. It’s weird that that could be true but that I could also get off on financial domination, which I guess I’ll comment about on your other post.
June 30, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Question:
If he (he being the one you hypothetically paid to sub or bottom) discovered that he kinks hard on the BEING paid to sub …
(Er … and that does happen to some of us into findom, I do “kink hard” on the taking. (naughty? yes. and the naughty is part of why I “kink hard” on it. p.s. I’m kinking hard on the phrase “kink hard”))
… is that wrong?
July 9, 2007 at 7:05 am
Just a thought. This strikes ME as kind of hot…
perhaps you can have some of the fin dom guys put together a collection. That way you can have, oh, ten thousand pounds to buy a sub with for a week without HAVING to get a second mortgage. I bet you can get a pretty one for that…
Or, have the ten k on the side, give him five K, and put the rest in various sized notes in a big glass jar. Every time he does something particularly right, he earns another one…maybe you make him do something humiliating to get it after he’s earned it, like pick it up off the urine-covered floor with his mouth. While he’s crying for the shame and the humilation and he can’t take any more and you have another three hours planned…
I’ll be in my bunk.
September 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm
*ahem*.
I think I just ruined my pants. That was quite … descriptive. And true.
And who’s to say it’s wrong? It’s your kink and your fantasy.