Surrender Dorothy

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When I tell people I am a dominant woman – which I do actually do, quite often – what I want them to think is that I get to sit around eating chocolate in my pyjamas until I decide to let a very attractive well-muscled naked man do beautiful dirty things to me while I hurt him. I don’t want them to think of a PVC catsuit, stiletto thigh boots, financial transactions, strap ons, and most of all I don’t want them to think of a man looking fucking horrible in ill-fitting fucking lingerie.

See, I like a man who would run into a burning building to rescue my handcuff collection and so it’s probably best for everyone if that man isn’t wearing a lot of highly flammable pink nylon.

But, actually, really, for serious, I really do hate feminisation. And I really do think that if you are a submissive man who needs to feel like a lady to go down – then you’re pretty much a piece of shit. So it’s your fetish? Guess what? I don’t care how hard it gets you, to be dressed in frillies and called slut – it doesn’t make it okay to do that for humiliation. Sort it out. Sort out what kind of fucked up shit you have in your head that you’re making that connection between being a woman and submitting sexually.

What, so being a woman and a slut (i.e. having some sex/liking cocks/liking cocks shoved in your orifices really damn hard) is humiliating is it?

That’s bad stuff. And, you know, you know it.

There is a dark space in some men that deals with their hatred and jealousy of women is by convincing themselves that being a woman is sexually miserable. That being fucked is awful. That sucking cock is awful. That to be female is to be done to, to be used, to be sexually disregarded. To only *give* pleasure. That that is an intrinsic part of being a woman. Sub men who get themselves feminised for humiliation or punishment aren’t the only men who feel this way about women, they are just externalising a common misogyny.

If you use feminisation for humiliation, or punishment, equate it with submission, lowliness, powerlessness, sexual powerlessness, lack of sexual control, being used sexually then you are insulting me. Because I wear a pair of women’s knickers and a bra every damn day. I am also a slut by most definitions of the word. So you’re going to degrade yourself by pretending to be *me*, are you?

That’s the most degrading thing you can think of? – femininity – i.e. being more like me?

Lowering yourself to that.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Seriously? Still thinking this is okay? Ready to explain why I’m wrong in the comments. Sharpen your fucking pencils.

Sub men, you like a bit of dress up, don’t you? Well that’s nice. Who doesn’t? And what is it today?: Pig boy, puppy boy, pony boy, slut. Now do you see my fucking problem? That you think men are clearly so fucking superior that women are – for the purposes of humilato-dress up – at the level of, hello?, animals. Christ!

Just get this hideous fucking shit out of my kink. If you are going to continue to do crap like that go and do it in some disregarded sexual ghetto where it belongs. Not here. Not in front of proper people. Not where I might stumble on you during my abuses of Google: (man + naked + handcuffs + crying + severe lacerations)

So just keep your fucked up oppressive offensive obtuse ideas about female sexuality out of my fucking kink, okay. I’ve said it before but how about if femdom, just for a bit, stopped being so damn offensive to women and people who, you know, *like* women. How about if femdom saw femininity as a positive thing. Saw the expression of female sexuality as a positive thing. Welcomed women who wanted to be here because men screaming gets them wet. Female domination that is pro-women? That is pro-female-sexuality? Do you think that might be possible? Do you? Do you? Do you want to try it? Now? I’m ready for it. I’ve been ready for years.

I did actually once say I’d never talk about feminisation because it really is just too depressing. It still is. And I know that the kinds of people who perpetuate this stuff don’t give a shit what I think.

But this website is about the fourth result on Google for a search on ‘forced fem’. Which *surely* means that somewhere some forced fem sex website marketing people aren’t doing there jobs properly. How hard must it be to use the phrase in the title of your website and three of four times in some optimised body copy? Maybe they are being true to their feminised identities by not being able to get their silly little girlish heads around how search engines work.

But the real reason I wanted to say this stuff is because, really, fuck the misogyny. That barely bothers me anymore. I’m fucking used to it now. Equating femininity and submission pisses me off mostly because it’s just not what I find sexy. It’s the opposite of my kink. It is my anti-kink. And I hate my anti-kink being the face of my kink, you know? I am a heterosexual dom woman, masculinity and submission is what does it for me. It is meant to. That is my wiring. I want a *man* on his *knees*. Neither of things is negotiable for me.

I don’t want a male sub is present his submission as anything but masculine. To disguise his masculinity under a curly wig. Fuck that. I want to *decimate* his masculinity (Hey Latin freaks – leave it! I *know*. I’ve fucking masturbated about what decimate *really* means). But I want to be able to see his masculinity as I take it apart.

Submission is masculine. When you submit you become more masculine. It is the ultimate expression of good whole masculinity. Surrender. Be a man. Be proud of that. Be a man when you submit to a woman. Find that place. Don’t give up your masculinity before you begin, give it to *her*.

It’s masculine suffer. Their big hard bodies are made for it. Cuts and bruises and sweat and welts look good on male bodies the same way impractical clothes look good on 6 foot tall teenage girls. What the fuck else is a man’s back for? And every man looks better with a nice scar. Ask the pirates.

When a big man goes down – a real man, fuck it, yes, an *alpha* man – it’s such an awesome thing. (In the trad and the new fangled sense of awesome – it fills me with awe and it is *way* cool.)

And here’s the really weird thing about masculine submission. It has been erased from my kink and replaced by Jesus-fuck-it’s-a-man-in-a-dress – and yet it is the fuck everywhere else.

I know I said that submissive men were a cultural archetype that was untrue and unflattering – but that’s the men that are labelled as subs. Call it something else… call it, say, noble self-sacrifice and it’s bloody everywhere and bloody gorgeous and often just bloody. The tormented, tortured and suffering male body is such a staple of classical art and legend: Sebastian, Prometheus, Tantalus, Christ. I love Fight Club. I love Joseph when he sings Close Every Door to Me in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,

Or ask a literature scholar: Arrogant Mr Rochester – all smashed up, broken and blinded at the end of Jane Eyre finally having to swallow his pride. Sydney Carton’s ultimate sacrifice in A Tale of Two Cities… It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done…

I can’t find a single piece of decent femdom porn on the whole internet that hits these buttons for me and yet museums and art galleries and libraries are heaving with it.

I mean the fuck? Everyone else is doing this shit better than us while we’re letting our men pose around in ugly flimsies. What is *that*?

Real men submit. Submitting is the ultimate act of masculine strength. (And strength isn’t only physical.) Submitting is brave. Submitting is loyal. Submitting is noble. Nothing says strength of character like a man knowing he can get on his knees and he’ll still be able to get up afterwards.

Look me in the eye and go down – and then afterwards you can get up and do something useful with power tools.

I love a strong man who says: I am strong for you. I have all this power to give to you. I have strength in my body for you because that’s what you need. Because you like to hurt me. And you want me to be able to take it all. So here is my body for you to hurt.

I will run into those burning buildings and I will slay those dragons and I will take the pain. And afterwards, I will crawl to you begging and broken with my body marked and my cock hard. And I’ll fuck you like a man fucks a woman.

And then I’ll put those shelves up.

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Filed under bdsm, buggery and lipgloss, cock sucking, fashion, femdom, feminisation, feminism, fetish, kinky sexism, lack of commitment to the lifestyle, making him vulnerable, male subs, masculinity