Talking of what dominant women don’t want, most male humiliation is full of ick. Not that I don’t want humiliation at all – I fucking love humiliation. It’s strawberry flavoured. But in femdom so much stuff that is packaged as humiliation is – while perfectly humiliating enough for the poor guy in question – just so not fucking sexy for the dom.
Why are the most ubiquitous male sub humiliation fantasies completely disengaged from what the person humiliating him might find erotic?
Why are the most ubiquitous male sub humiliation fantasies the opposite of sex?
Look, here’s the most obvious and well known example: Small Penis Humiliation (hello, Google hits)
I mean, fuck off, apart from the fact that the dom is meant to be laughing and even the smallest penis in the world isn’t slightly funny – laughing about the size of a person’s penis is no one’s fucking turn on. No one in the world. I will not change my mind on this without brain scan evidence.
You, Mr dirty, kinky sub, can get off in this. You can have a fetish about it. (I’m sure you weren’t waiting for my permission for that). You can pay, persuade and cajole women into facilitating this weird hobby of yours. But do not tell me that any dom woman is going to get hard and wet while she’s forcing out a laugh about the tinyness of your dirty little thing. So as it isn’t even amusing, in your fantasy – just tell me –why is she doing this? We’ve established that it isn’t really funny and it isn’t really hot – so what? What are her thoughts? Her motivations? Does she have an inner life at all? Is she thinking anything? Does she have emotions? This women in your fantasies – what’s with her?
Or did you just not really bothering thinking that thing through. Yeah, and why should you? We’re only talking about the emotions of a person you are having sex with.
And if there’s no reason on earth why a woman would ever do this of her own volition, where the fuck do you get off calling this female dominance?
This depresses me so much because I get off hard on humiliating men. Hard. If you’d asked me 12 months ago it would have been my number one turner oner. I have only flipped over to being all-about-pain really recently. And humiliation is still a really big red button for me. It is my second favourite after pain now. And you know how much I like pain. Well, I only like humiliation a tiny bit less
I’m obsessed with men crying for fuck’s sake – why else the fuck would that be?
And, in fact, a lot of my pain stuff has humiliation built in. I love his pain especially when it comes with ritualisation, forced complicity, unwinnable games, betraying erections, begging (for it to start, for it to stop, and my special favourite: just for it to stop for a few minutes). Oh fuck yes!
But there’s different kinds of humiliation. There’s the oh-so-sexy licking piss off the bathroom floor…
…and turn your head a little so I can see your tongue, darling… god, do it slower… close your eyes….are you still hard?…now stop a moment and kneel up and tell me that you love me…tell me you’ll do *anything*… anything I ask…that you’ll go lower than I would ever have believed…that’s really nice… you look amazing right now…now put your hand in it and lick a little off your fingers then rub it all over your face…
Now that’s the I will humiliate myself for you – for love thing that I adore and is so hot. Still a man, still beautiful, utterly degraded by me, by himself, by… Guh!
And then there’s that other thing I see far too much of – the unsexy, ‘oh look at him licking up the piss… oh ha ha he loves it… guzzle that piss, pig boy… ha ha…’ which is, for the dom, well, just not so sexy much.
Just, look, the motivation for the top is not how fucking hilarious this is. What is the fucking point of that! If I want to have a laugh I’ll watch a fucking Eddie Izzard DVD. Is that really the best motivation you could think of? I mean you did realise that women can get turned on too, right? – sometimes I think every submissive man in the world was transported here by time machine from 1878. How about working with that when it comes to humiliation instead of this shit about how we should be laughing at your ridiculous worthless self.
Listen up – here is the news in a fucking nutshell – the humiliation needs to sexualise you, to sexually objectify you. Not anti-sexify you, you stupid, stupid, made-of-ten-different-kinds-of-stupid bastards.
It’s worth banging on about this, because, for men who can do it – who get it – there’s a perfect kind of dignity in being degraded. A level of bravery that can offer the self as well as the skin. That can say, oh yeah, baby, I’m enough of a man crawl to you with my own belt in my mouth, to stand naked while you write slave across my chest, to kneel in front of you and tape my own mouth shut while you watch, to beg, to beg for water, beg for a touch, beg for pain, beg to push my tongue inside you, to be an animal, be an object, to be furniture, be ignored. To tell you that you own my tongue. To tell you that I love you after every stroke.
I love a man who can still look me in the eye. Always. No matter what he’s looking up from.
Who can get on his knees and give me something that is anything but worthless.
Who doesn’t just go down, he let’s me grind him down. He helps me do it. And he makes it all about me.
Even when he’s licking his come up off my face.
57 Comments
May 2, 2007 at 10:18 pm
I don’t know what to say about this – I am just a vanilla guy although I have enjoyed watching a woman crawl on her hands and knees for $20 dollar bills I threw on the floor, but it was ultimately unsatisfying because as a man I can get women all over the world to do this for me, (denomonations may be different – but trust me I can get this anywhere), and I have pissed on women but again not really satisfying. bitchjones, I wonder what your problem is in finding willing subs, because as far as I can see the average man, especially in the UK, is very submissive to women anyway. I read somewhere that as many as 20% of men in the UK may be fathers to children that are not genetically theirs.
You say you are a feminist, so does that mean you view men as equal – your posts would indicate that you are more of a female supremacist. This goes back to a question I asked some time ago about if you feel dominant to submissive females. I can understand that you are attracted to males but does that mean that your hetrosexuality overrides your dominant nature. This may sound stupid but I am just trying to understand more of what you post.
May 2, 2007 at 10:35 pm
I don’t have a dominant nature. Just a dominant sexuality.
I have some good friends who are submissive women. I feel completly equal to them. I also feel equal to submissive men unless we have negotiated doing something else.
It’s not real. I do know that I am not actually dominant over anyone else – even you, Toni.
Did you piss on the woman by accident?
May 2, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Well ms.Jones, I find it odd that you can have a dominant sexuality but not a dominant personality, I admit to being a novice in these matters, which is why it is so fascinating to me. In my personal relationships I naturally take the dominant role, if it is because of conditioning or whatever I don’t really know I guess as you said in an earlier post it is just the way I am wired! The difference is I don’t take a great deal of pleasure in hurting other people, I have pissed on a few girls, but always been asked to do it – I wouldn’t do it now as the amount I drink would surely make my urine breach the Geneva conventions!
As someone who is outside this lifestyle I recall my last girlfriend, she was Thai but a bit of an Asian princess, from a very exclusive background but very, very sweet. I remember her saying to me “You are unkind” that is all. I didn’t ever hit her or piss on her or make her crawl on her hands and knees for money. I don’t think I will ever forget the deadpan way she described me. When I returned to London I never told my ex-colleagues or friends because they do not think highly on me in any event, but when I made it down to Spain I spoke to my father and on a drunken night I told him what she said and he agreed, (he was more vocal and said youre’ not just unkind – you are a cunt). There are so many people I have met who have a reason to hate me but I don’t think I have ever been stopped in my tracks as by my last girlfriend saying that to me.
May 2, 2007 at 11:14 pm
You know, perhaps I can understand this whole s&m thing a little better now. I am out of my wheelchair but the setting of my ankle was unsuccesful, it was broken in too many places and I didn’t want surgery so now I can walk but it hurts so much. When I go to bed just lying down is such sweet relief, I don’t feel the bones grinding against each other, I don’t see the blood pooling around my ankle – it feels good, but it is already a pain that I am used to and with the amount I drink it is a miracle I can feel anything at all, it is just something to become accustomed to.
May 2, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Not a great fan of the word “humiliation”, even the word is a sexual turn off for me. Like “yuck” kind of turn off.
Mean, anybody can be humiliated by anybody. Slip and fall in the middle of a meeting, you’re humiliated. A kid made fun of in class for reading poorly, or for having zits, or whatever, is humilated. Credit card declined when you go to pay for dinner and then have to borrow from somebody else, humilated.
Where’s the power in that? Just a negative, overly embarrasing experience, no power transfer, just negative emotions.
I like the word “subjugated” or “subjugate”. The true meaning doesn’t tie completely into the acts you’ve mentioned that are a turn on (crawl-with-belt-in-mouth, guh), but I like that word. I also like “humble” and “humbling” and “humbled”. Those are good words and there is no zit-face or penis size snickering attached.
I mean, a strong man can be humbled or subjugated and still be strong…..
Not that I think about these things ever.
E
I like the word humble
May 3, 2007 at 5:45 am
I just discovered your web site yesterday. You are brilliant.
When I was much younger, I wanted to find submissive male beauty in porn, and stupidly tried initially to find it in femdom material. Which, as you well know, is full of hideously unsexy men being mocked by women who aren’t the least bit turned on by them. You hit it spot on to say it’s the opposite of sex. Male dominant porn is about men’s desires — to have a woman completely in the way he wants her without having to gain consent or make agreements or please her. Male submissive porn is about the complete opposite of that — he cannot have a woman no matter how he debases himself for her. He cannot turn her own no matter what he does. It’s about inverting his desire completely.
Which is to repeat the obvious, I suppose: porn, being material reflecting male fantasy, is for men. And so, if I wanted images that reflect *my* sexual object, I had to find the material targeted to *men* that shared my desires. I found what I was looking for in gay porn magazines like Bound and Gagged. Which of course never helped in finding an actual partner, but at least was something to feast my eyes on.
May 3, 2007 at 6:12 am
Elizabeth
It’s very early to talk semantics and I’d rather reread your latest post, but I do see your point. I don’t have a problem with the word humiliated – it gives me a little buzz actually – but the whole concept is so tricky I’m not suprised you have a problem.
The place where humilated switches from sexy into unsexy is so sudden and tricky. It’s a challenge. This post was a challenge. It’s hard to find ways of humilating a guy that don’t humiliate you too much – if you see what I mean.
I also like the words: Degraded and debased
May 3, 2007 at 6:22 am
Hi Sonia
Glad you fund your way here.
Yes. Femdom has been bearly destroyed by this hideous muck which seems to be based around men wanting women to force them to do stuff that no women would ever be turned on by forcing a man to do. This is shit. And woman hating. And female sexuality negating and all sorts of other things which are not fun.
But, yeah, gay bondage porn is nice. There’s a couple of links in my side bar to places you might like.
I’m really sorry femdom is so crap. I’m trying to fix it. You can help out if you like.
May 3, 2007 at 6:50 am
Elizabeth,
I’m not easily humiliated.. Indeed Alexandra has found that frustrating at times. There are too many conventions that I’m indifferent to. It takes quite a bit to embarrass me and the power in my case comes from having it administered by someone I love.
Being humble is the basis pleasure of D/s for me. Being humiliated is humbleness with extra spice, a special thrill. There’s lots of power transfer in offering yourself to another in that way.
May 3, 2007 at 6:50 am
I was thinking of you earlier today. I was flipping through a reprint of an early American fetish magazine, Exotique and marveling at all the men craving feminization. Back in the 1950s the same old sexist logic and wording was indistinguishable from today.
Small penis humiliation utterly surprised me. I had no idea is existed, nor what passion men bring to the fetish.
Humiliation is a treacherous and beautiful topic. It is one where I do find it hard to talk to Alexandra about.
Some acts – however much I writhe in nasty ecstasy – I don’t crave. The way my mind melts has me embarrassing a confusing conflict. Also I don’t want it to happen so often that familiarity robs the act of its power.
Nor do I want to confess certain desires because I want to be her desire that brings it to pass. I’m happy to ask for certain kinds of physical pain but my emotional masochism would be short circuited if she humiliated me in certain ways by request. Part of the motivation for Down On My Knees is to convey these sorts of cravings in an almost impersonal fashion. That way she can know they exist within me but give me that most beautiful of gifts: a surprise.
May 3, 2007 at 7:07 am
In some ways I think all submission is humiliating. Even though I love male submission and love men who are proud of who they are, I do love that blush and twitchiness some of them have when they admit what they want.
Um, quite a lot, actually.
Perhaps you should be made to admit the humiliating things you want as part of the game.
I could get off on that – if it helps
May 3, 2007 at 7:27 am
In some ways I think all submission is humiliating.
You doms are always saying things like that. Nope, it is too satisfying and to take that view would require me to subscribe to a bunch of foolish norms.
Perhaps you should be made to admit the humiliating things you want as part of the game.
Alexandra’s call. All she has to to is ask. (Though I think she has an awful good idea.) One of my failings is to be obsessive about even accidentally topping from the bottom.
May 3, 2007 at 9:16 am
Dear Bitchy -
At the risk of cross talking your posters, which I am always trying to keep from doing — once *that* genie is out of the bottle, there’s no putting her back in — can I say, “Hi Sonia! Pull up a chair! No, not that one with the strapping young man tied handsomely to it, the other one. Unless you would like to sit on him for awhile.”
And to you, c’mon, it’s never too early for semantics. I live for semantics. (And have gotten a lovely idea for a post off of this.) : )
In your comment back you’ve caught exactly why I don’t like the word “humiliation”. I find a narrow piece of ground in there ridiculously erotic, the rest shark infested waters. (Or should I say pink panty, small penis, worm infested waters.)
Well, if I write much more, that will be my post now won’t it.
You’re marvelous, as always your biggest fan -
E
May 3, 2007 at 10:08 am
Question one – Please tell me that you get them to at least clean their teeth after the piss before you let them kiss you?
Man I now have an urg to clean my bathroom floor :/
Question two – whos piss is he licking up?
May 3, 2007 at 10:30 am
reading this makes me wonder…
do you like the idea of a man submiting and being humiliated as you tell him what to do hotter with their own enjoyment of it (the actual acts of humiliationg, not the sex on its own) or them not enjoying it and doing it anyway to please you?
May 3, 2007 at 11:02 am
Vampyra
It’s mine.
And I do more than just kiss him with that – and more – all over his face.
(Sorry – I’m kind of perverted)
May 3, 2007 at 11:02 am
Diremane
Ah, now, there is a perfect way this can go. He does want it – it turns him on – but that fact is the most humiliating thing of all
BJ x
May 3, 2007 at 11:35 am
Humiliation is such a difficult topic, because what one person finds humiliating another doesn’t. Penis size is a prime example. Half the population is intensely concerned with it, the other half is generally unconcerned and wonders what the fuss is.
So, to be clear to you females, guys worry about this. Some more than others, as with many things, if you got it, you’re not bothered about it. Yet using penis size against a man can be intensily humiliating for him, even if it isn’t for the person doing the humiliating.
Your point about wee, personally left me scratching my head. Its one of those things I don’t get. I’ve been in erotic encounters where its been brought into the equation, and either I get down and dirty with it for the other persons gratification (because other people getting turned on is in itself a turn on), or I’ve tipped my hat and walked away because it does absolutely nothing for me. I don’t find it humiliating, I don’t even find it gross (did you know wee is 99.5% sterile (unless the person has a urinary infection), its almost completely harmless), its just wee.
So, humiliation only works when all parties find it humiliating, or one is willing because it turns on the other.
May 3, 2007 at 11:43 am
You might find it a little bit sexier if you stopped calling it ‘wee’.
May 3, 2007 at 11:45 am
Being humiliated, the way you describe it Bitchy, is hard. It takes courage and will and all kinds of strength. Taking pain, on the other hand, is relatively easy.
At least, that’s what I think.
Some examples perhaps?
being whipped while tied up – easy
being whipped whilest being asked to stand still, not tied up – not so easy
having to stand up again, so she can whip you, after having dropped to the floor because it hurt so much – hard
gagging yourself to the point you cant breath because she wants it, because it arouses her – very hard
knowing that she comes because you (almost) faint due to lack of oxygen – even harder
the look on her face afterwards – the best
Afterwards it’s so hard sometimes to come to terms with what you were willing to dom with what you did, I cant describe it. And still, for the right person, you’d do it again.
May 3, 2007 at 11:50 am
Just tried to comment on this, but it seems wordpress doesnt want to publish it?
May 3, 2007 at 11:57 am
There you go Marinus – you just got caught in the spam filter.
And what a fantastic comment too. Some of my favourite things are taking pain without restraints and having the guy put a gag (or clamps, or handcuffs) on himself.
And looking at me afterewards, knowing what I know, too damn bright and pretty.
May 3, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Ha! Got small kids, so wee is its name. Didn’t even realise that was what I was typing! Still, no matter what its name, for me personally its not humiliating.
Taking it away from what I know can be a kink for many people, my point is still that humiliation is such a personal thing.
Would you still, personally, find something a turn on, if the person you are attempting to humiliate finds it funny or just doesn’t get it?
May 3, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Thanks Bitchy, you flatter me.
The things you mention, they are the things I consider to be the hardest. But maybe that’s exactly the reason why they are the most attractive things to do.
Licking piss? Really?
I’d never do that…
May 3, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Boy
I don’t know. Good question. I’m trying to think of an example because it is hard to answer in the hypothetical.
I really like having guys stand facing the wall and ignore them for a bit. I find that very hot. Most guys I’ve been with have seen that as a huge waste of time. They can’t eroticise it. That has never stopped it turning me on.
May 3, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Hello!
Humiliation isn’t sexy for me too. Humiliation is the offense of one person’s dignity,and there’s nothing exciting about that.
But I suppose we all have different meanings for the word and,in a BDSM context,it’s indeed hard to trace a line…or perhaps not. I admit my concept of being dominated is closer to Elizabeth’s one of “humblefy” ( I’m sure the word doesn’t exist,but nowadays is posh to create new words and use them like if we were all high intellectuals
),though I also have troubles with that.
Clearly,I should start working my way on being a dom,but how can one conciliate that with enjoying pain? Perhaps if I say ” you,miserable slave,I want to see if you ‘re capable of using that whip on me,or else!!!”.
May 3, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Bitchy, I found you a few days ago through Eros Blog and it was like finding my long-lost sister. I pointed you out to a femdom friend of mine and she thought the same thing. So thank you and you have at least two more faithful readers.
I’ve never understood how “forcing” a guy to eat/lick his own cum is supposed to be either humiliating or arousing. Don’t men expect women to swallow or lick it up or enjoy massaging it into their breasts or whatever? So why should “forcing” them to do the same be humiliating to them? Same with forced feminization–I’m so totally with you there. Just don’t get it.
But your descriptions of “Still a man, still beautiful, utterly degraded by me, by himself, by… Guh!” Yes, that’s it. And that’s what I’ve got in my sub, thank science, who is a beautiful, wonderful service sub who will do anything and take anything and bear anything for me, because it’s for me, because it makes me happy and makes me wet. And I wouldn’t want to do anything that doesn’t make me wet, because, hell, what’s the point? It certainly isn’t for him–his fetish is getting me off, so if it doesn’t get me off, neither of us care. So, thank you for saying all this so much more eloquently and humorously than I could.
Because, after all, it is all about me (or you) and it should be.
And predicament bondage…or self-inflicted pain in order to please me. Guh! indeed.
May 3, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Hello
I get what you’re saying about the come licking thing, except I don’t think *licking* *up* come is mainstream feminine so I think I’m okay and not humiliating him by making him parody femininty – frankly though, it is such a minefield.
And, you know, I just like licking. He could just lick the furniture and I’d be happy. (Shush – don’t tell)
May 3, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Interestingly what you are describing as reason for humiliation etc… them bearing things and doing things for you in this way – it just sounds like what I would expect from and give to someone I love.
Thats what you do when you love someone.
Maybe I am confussed here.
May 3, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Confused? Sounds like you’ve got it right to me.
It’s all about love. About romance. It’s the most romantic thing in the world
May 3, 2007 at 4:05 pm
It’s just that most men wouldn’t think that licking piss off the floor while bound, hopefully with an ass stinging from a beating was in the “normal” part of a relationship continuum. But it *is* the most romantic thing in the world.
May 3, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Personally speaking, I would not ever do any of the things described, for anyone, unless I loved her with all my heart.
So, yes, it is all about love.
And devotion.
That too.
And pain, sweat and tears…
May 3, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Coralina
Well, what the fuck do I know? but I think that there are people who are tops and also masochists.
Or maybe you still want to sub most of the time, but dom sometimes. If you think a bit of topping would get you off I think you should have a go because you don’t seem to like your own submission much and maybe if you saw what I see, you’d feel different about it.
Although, I would like to qualify this advice with a repeat of the phrase – what the fuck do I know?
BJ x
May 3, 2007 at 9:07 pm
I think you know quite a lot,Bitchy ( but do you know some white tea is naturally sweet
)!
Indeed,when I read what you and Elizabeth write, I do feel identified with it,while most of the sub’s blogs do provoke me skin problems.
I must try this other way!
May 4, 2007 at 9:36 am
Man you’re a bad influence – I ended up in a discussion with my husband about piss :/
May 4, 2007 at 10:30 am
Licking nasties from the floor while being whipped or watched or whatever is always a groove. As is being turned to the wall and ignored.
I can understand you not liking the small penis teasing thing although I imagine I’d find it a lot of fun. However I think there are some activities that can’t be played out in a married or similar relationship without all or an awful lot of respect flying out of the window. It’s a fine line for your average kinky couple.
Some fantasies are best left to the prodommes who never have to see the sub again.
I confess to liking it all apart from the very painful stuff and I’m fortunate as a 60yr old to have done it all.
One thing I wanted to comment on in your last post (the teatime one) is that in my experience (rich, fulfilling etc) fetish clothing has rarely been worn. My wife doesn’t hold with such frippery and in my mind all that matters is a certain gleam in her eye.
May 4, 2007 at 11:59 am
If you respect each other to begin with I see no reason why fantasys and that can not be carried out within a marriage.
May 4, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Vampyra. I think that qualifies as ‘good influence’. For, you know, some value of ‘good’.
And I’ve always said, if I expect you to swallow it, it’s only fair you get to kiss me afterwards. But I only say that ’cause I find the idea so delightfully perverse.
May 4, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Well, oral fixation, but I feel the same about many substances, actually.
Love to kiss a man when I know where he’s been.
May 4, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Mmm. Bitchy, you’re makin’ me wanna kiss you.
May 4, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Is that so, daddy.
I wonder what you’d taste of
May 5, 2007 at 6:27 am
Tequila. At least at this moment.
May 5, 2007 at 12:13 pm
“Even when he’s licking his come up off my face”
I think I’d rather put up shelves….and I hate DIY
May 5, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Well, okay, Yellow, but remember, I probably wouldn’t be too keen on the way you have sex either.
May 5, 2007 at 4:25 pm
No you really wouldn’t
May 7, 2007 at 2:48 pm
toni: “Well ms.Jones, I find it odd that you can have a dominant sexuality but not a dominant personality, I admit to being a novice in these matters, which is why it is so fascinating to me.”
Well toni, if that’s hard to wrap your mind around….imagine this….(buckle up for safety)… a sexually submissive MAN who doesn’t possess a submissive personality!
ps- that “fascinating” dichotomy is actually quite common
May 7, 2007 at 4:06 pm
a sexually submissive MAN who doesn’t possess a submissive personality!
Always a favourite round my way, Scorpion
July 7, 2007 at 1:26 am
Oh to lick my cum from your face…….mmmmm
my favourite dessert.
July 19, 2007 at 4:25 am
I guess it’s up to me to defend the “weird hobby” that you find so annoying.
I’m not sure that small penis humiliation is completely removed from reality, especially in comparison to the Medieval Times-esque “mistress/slave/dungeon” shtick in which S&M is usually packaged. Can’t you recall any real-life instances of girls or women being amused by commentary about dick size? I remember sharing an office with two female coworkers who found it hysterical to draw and show one another presumably (I never saw them) unflattering pictures of what they imagined various coworkers’ dicks to look like. Also, I once saw a clip of a Roseanne getting big laughs while belittling her ex’s schlong during a stand-up routine. Those are the only examples of this type of humor that I can think of right now, but I doubt that they’re the only ones in world history.
To answer your question about what’s going on in the fantasy woman’s head as she humiliates her small-dicked victim–well, she’s just supposed to be mean. I’ve come across plenty of mean girls and women who enjoyed making nasty cracks, some of which revolved around weight or other perceived physical flaws, about others. So it’s not exactly science fiction.
As for women not getting off on it… I don’t know, I can imagine a woman enjoying it if it causes the guy to get intensely turned on and works as part of an overall her-in-charge scenario that she likes. Then again, I’m not exactly Mr. Experience with the ladies.
You can probably guess the Googled phrase that brought me to this blog entry.
July 19, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I just think – as humiliating men is so fucking sexy – it would be nice if the *main* humiliations on femdom could be things that get the woman off too. Not things were her sexuality is absent.
You can have your weird hobby – it’s not that it isn’t okay – I just wish femdom in general was more focussed around mutual pleasure rather than the stuff that gets guys hot and does nothing much for women.
July 27, 2007 at 7:08 pm
I have spent the past 3 days reading your posts and checking your links. Thanks so much for starting this and writing what I have enjoyed and what makes me shirk away from what turns me on. I was introduced to “BDSM” through a man and was confused why I liked certain things in the bedroom but when I saw porn, etc it made me want to hide under the bed. It’s the incredibly vulnerable man who has made himself vulnerable to ME that turns my buttons, not all this crap that looks quite scary (and quite mustachioed)
August 1, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Reading this post (and some others of yours) together was part of the basis of online play with my sweet, strong boyfriend last night. I wrote about the play and this post (a bit) here.
August 18, 2007 at 3:26 am
I would like your opinion on whether you think CFNM (clothed female naked male) is humiliating for the male and hot for the female.
I think that because of my upbringing in fact most peoples upbringing to be around another person who is clothed whilst you are naked puts you in a deliciously vulnerable position.
Clothes have so much significance just think of military uniforms and what they try to convey.
So to be in the same room as a Woman wearing a skirted business suit whilst I am buck naked maddenly hardening.
All the better for you on a cold Winters day to push me up agianst a cold wall so that I can feel the warmth of your clothed body against my back and arse juxtaposed with the icy chill of the smooth wall against my chest,nipples cock and balls.
January 17, 2008 at 12:09 am
Bitchy,I like your style and agree with nearly all your comments.However you must realise that not all women have your imagination,let alone the will to carry through,that is why the bottom has to top, at least to start with.
Do you humiliate your partner outside,like taking his money and cards and taking him to a bar or
cutting his pockets and handcuffing him while you
partake in social intercourse ?
January 17, 2008 at 9:42 am
‘Topping from the bottom’ – now there’s something I could talk about all day.
As for public humilations – no, not my thing.
Now I have a question for you – have you ever used the phrase ‘partake in social intercourse’ out loud, in real life, to actual people – or was it special, just for me?
January 17, 2008 at 11:50 am
only to you Bitchy,only to you.
I’m getting on in years now,71 in a few days,but I can assure you that even when the flesh is weak the mind is still active.Keep up the good work.
January 17, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Jones, I am surprised you challenged saracens turn of phrase. I thought that you would love that kind of talk. Needless to say it is just the kind of phrase I would use, (probably while polishing my monocle).
What exactly is topping from the bottom? As for taking cash and cards from some sub guy as saracen asked, it doesn’t seem likely to me, reading your blog you seem to have a perverse approach to money by most female standards. For some reason you seem to enjoy actually spending it for your own enjoyment. Believe me, most women do not have fantasies about paying men for whatever filthy fantasies they have. I have dated a few seriously rich girls and they are even less likely to reach into their purses than regular women.
I do recall going to a S&M type night at a place called The Clink just across the river from the city back in about 2002 and some pro-dom type chained a guy to the bar and had an ashtray sellotaped to his head while she went off for 3 or 4 hours spending the poor guys money.