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Today’s question: How did femdom take oral sex (which is nice – duh!) and turn it into pussy worship (which is fucking vile)?

How did this happen? How did I end up in a sexual subculture where I would start to find endless offers of oral sex tiresome? How did you spoil oral sex? Seriously, how hardcore about spoiling women’s pleasure are you? Because, you know, for serious, ruining oral sex takes some *work*.

If you’re lucky enough not to know about this – those of you who, perhaps, have not been toiling away in the salt mines of femdomia for eighty trillion years like I have – then let me explain. Submissive men and the giving of oral sex – there is, shall we say, something of an affinity there. I mean, you can see the logic can’t you and I bet you’re wondering what exactly I’m complaining about.

- Oh boo hoo, Bitchy, are you getting too much oral sex, you poor love? Here have a cup of tea served just the way you like it by an uncomfortable naked man -

Submissive men like to give oral sex. And I like to get oral sex. In fact, I probably like it more than getting fucked. And I love to get fucked. You may also be aware that my cunt and his mouth are two of my favourite things in the world. What’s not to like about a combination of those two things plus an orgasm?

Well, like I say, fucking this up has taken some work.

First there’s the over enthusiasm and the boasting. Submissive men often have strange relationships with their own penises. They’re so fucked up and ashamed of their desires that their penises piss them off. That they don’t actually want any sexual pleasure because, hey, what has their sexuality done for them lately? Other than unconsensually humiliate them.

So their penises are insignificantly tiny or locked up in CB2000s or tightly constrained in PVC knickers. Ha! Take that my penis that makes me get off on submitting to delightful loving female authority (or you know, horrible sadistic female authority, if you prefer, I know I do).

Then without their penises all the freaky fixation men usually have for their cocks gets focussed on the tongue. And you get these offers of oral sex worship that are just so much macho swagger: I can do it for hours/touch my nose with it/make you come over and over.

And there’s the way they talk about it. No woman alive wants a man to use the phrase “pussy worship” while he is standing on the same planet as her. Ever.

And it doesn’t even end there - there are a million kinds of vile spins on this: Body worship, oral worship, full body worship, intimate worship…

The whole worship thing, the goddess thing, the on a pedastal thing is almost always yukky objectification of the woman. And here it turns a woman into her cunt. Completely. It’s just an aspect of the women-are-cunts-on-legs female objectification that would get jumped on and called misogyny anywhere else. So let’s call it the fuck out here.

Because pussy worship is ten million miles from nice get-me-off-after-I’ve-hurt-you or give-me-a-quick-orgasm or sort-me-out-because-I-didn’t-come-when-you-fucked-me oral sex. Pussy worship is something else. Pussy worship is all about the sub kneeling in front of a woman whose job it is simply to represent *woman*. Cunt. On. Legs.

The other thing wrong with “pussy worship” is it misses the fact that oral sex, is a nice simple operation. I like simple. My life is complicated enough. I am not equipment heavy. I’m happy with a pair of handcuffs, a roll of duct tape, and his belt. I don’t need a separate room for my bondage furniture.

I don’t like to sit on his face. More than that. I don’t see the fucking point.

Here is some interesting information about the human body – cunts are fucking sensitive. I do not want my body weight borne through it onto a man’s tongue. Squatting or sitting is not comfortable. I don’t care if you like being smothered. I want to be the one having a nice lie down. So shut up and move over. And for god’s sake don’t offer to buy me a special chair. No, not even if you call it a throne. Oh yuk. Just fuck off.

Those chairs. My god. Look, I’m fat. I’m not going to be getting in and out of one of those effortlessly and elegantly any time soon. I’d have my knees up by my ears.

Facesitting and queening are that thing I said about making a woman into just her cunt exponentially up through the ceiling. Fucking hell. You might as well say, I’d be so much happier if you were just a gigantic cunt taped to my face like John Hurt in fucking Alien. (I realise that sentence is kind of ambiguous – but you get what I mean.)

It’s about the man getting to lie on your back and have a woman’s cunt right in front of his face like a piece of multi-sensory flesh-wrought pornography.

And, you know, if someone built my porn out reality and I could lie on my back and have it front of my face I’d be happy to lick, lick, lick it all day too.

Queening stools are so not about the queen.

A man’s face is not a comfortable place to sit.

And, why the fuck should I, I like to lie on my back best of all. Every chance I get. On my bed. I like to be comfortable. Generally and specifically. I like pillows. He kneels on the bed between my legs. For a change I like lying with my legs over the edge of the bed and him kneeling on the floor. I like sitting on a chair or the sofa with him kneeling on the floor again. All of these positions – not uncoincidentaly - give me good access to his upper back and shoulders – easily the reach of a number of hitty objects I own. I do like pain with oral sex. You know that thing about me liking it when he moans into my mouth?

Well…

So that’s what I like. I like to be comfortable. I like to be lying down or sitting back. I like to be able to hit a nice simple target.

Queening stools - the fuck?

Yeah I get that these stools/thrones/chairs sometimes have restraints built in. But I have *five* pairs of handcuffs so I can fix that.

So now look – throw away the queening stool - we might finally be getting somewhere. Consider this: handcuffs, hitting, his mouth, my cunt, me lying down – this is looking so good, suddenly.

Offer pain first, then pussy. What sort of evil sadistic bitch do you think I am?

In fact, offer every other part of your body first. Keep your tongue back until I need it. Maybe we’ll tape your mouth up just to be sure. Let’s wait and wait and wait until I’m ready to rip that tape off your mouth so fast it stings and use your tongue like a fucking sex toy.

I’m pretty much with the male doms and their bondage blow jobs here. Or my approximation of that. A little reticence might even be nice (like asking for the moon) and I’ll have him cuffed and on his knees please. Mouth forced open with one of those nasty looking metal things that do that? Well, okay, yeah, I can get with that – he’s going to drool a bit and his tongue might get a bit dry but a dryish tongue can be pretty pleasant – you ever had a guy tip your velvet when he’s kind of dehydrated? Not that that’s a hobby of mine but these things happen.

That’s what I want. Feeling used yet? Sexually exploited? We need to make this less fun for you and more fun for me. That’s what I want, pussy boy. Your mouth turns me on. Oral sex can be magic again.

Cuffed, clamped (oh, yeah, forgot to mention that), kneeling, getting hit, pushing his tongue inside me, getting my blood all over his face, well that is a lot of good stuff all getting shaken up together. And that’s oral sex, which is nice.

Pussy worship? That kind of thing where she’s sitting on his face or he’s kneeling between her wide-spread thigh-booted legs and she has one of those faintly amused expressions on her face?

What the fuck even is that?

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