It works, and it works the other way, surprisingly enough. I’m somewhat tentative about referring to myself as “femmesub” because it … sounds stupid to me, and because it seems to attract asshats, but after reading your blog over the last month or so I’m at least happy that there might *be* non-asshat doms out there, quite apart from feeling enormously relieved that I’m not required by my sexuality to dress in clothing I cannot get into and out of on my own!

“And that is why I started my blog. To get some of those women back. / That’s my big idea. Create this chink of a world where femdom looks different. It’s just a chink, but a few women will get in this way.”

It’s working! I just found your blog tonight (thanks to that god-awful show about sex bloggers) and you’ve totally transformed my views. I never thought I’d get the whole dom thing. Because, as you say, I thought I knew what it was; the leather catsuit, the high ponytail, the whip, the endless use of the word ‘mistress’, the total restriction of sexual pleasure to the man’s experience, the contempt. I’m not normally the kind of person who swallows what they’re told, but I’d gone for that myth hook, line and sinker, and as a passionate feminist I’d always loathed it, feeling it was just yet another puppet show for the male gaze.

But what you’re talking about here is something that makes sense to me. And the whole suffering hero thing? Oh my god.

I’m going to have to reevaluate a few things.

Yeah I think so. Sometimes when the first contact is sparring, that gets all the snarling and nipping out of the way.

(Been watching too much Dog Whisperer lately, ha)

“I’m gonna write you a brilliant Fuck Me redux soon. I’m gonna spin it all around and find a spot for both of us and still trash the cock=top shit. You’ll love it. Sigourney Weaver is in it.”

Excellent.

I’m gonna write you a brilliant Fuck Me redux soon. I’m gonna spin it all around and find a spot for both of us and still trash the cock=top shit. You’ll love it. Sigourney Weaver is in it.

don’t stop now. you’re on a roll.

fucking exactly.

and y’know that’s what I was getting at way back with mentioning my kink for genderfuck: yeah, in some ways genderfucking is associated with Fem! Dom!

viz: le strapon

but also it isn’t. I mean, I’ve got short hair I don’t wear skirts I get wet when someone calls me Sir my boots don’t have a heel and I want a pair of men’s engineer boots, etc. etc.

Go that far outside the Ice Bitch Milady Goddess and you’re not hot any more to the “submissive” male fleas either, except maybe if you pull out your COCK OMG YOU’RE BEARABLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE FEMDOM COCK

which pretty well ensures it stays in my pants — hell in my drawer at home thx.

We’re very different but we have a lot in common: we want the people who mean it.

Like service: I like it. But I’m interested in service meaning someone who wants to please and serve and perform tasks, as in stuff I choose, as in not dressing frilly unless I want to see the person that way (hell, I may, but … y’know the whole thing you keep saying: “it’s not! about YOU!”) and as in I don’t consider preening with a duster housework and likely wouldn’t assign real housework anyway.

This wins.

It just wins.

And femsup: the clue factory is having a sale. buy several.