November 22, 2007...10:16 pm
Scenes
I have mentioned before that the day I met Jack, I was in London being filmed for the telly. I am appearing (in super secret style) in a channel four documentary about sex blogging. I was talking to a friend who happens to be presenting the doc (in fact when she interviewed me for it was our first meeting) and she was telling me about it and in amongst all the stuff she was teling me she happened to mention that bits of what I say have been reconstructed.
I have been reconstructed.
For the telly.
Specifically this post. I think.
I mean, obviously there are limits. It’s not going to be Beej the movie, but god, just the fact there is anything is boggling me. Scenes from my actual life have been reenacted by actors. Normally that only happens if you commit a violent crime.
14 Comments
November 22, 2007 at 10:28 pm
I’m not entirely sure some of the people watching that won’t think you’ve committed a violent crime….
November 22, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Will you be just vox of camera or do they show you.Are you still in contact with the interviewer.I have been interviewed my self and know that what seems a long time to you ends up in a few seconds of tape.This however sounds more ambitious.
You are to modest don’t you know you are a cultural phenomenon.
November 22, 2007 at 11:23 pm
If we look closely, much of the evidence for the most heinous crimes are the same: Rope, gag, duct tape, handcuffs, painful restraining devices, nipple clamps…..
Okay, wait, this has gone wrong somewhere……
But most importantly, can we get the actors to use the vibrating cock ring and piggy purse?–You know, PURELY to depict the “true story” as closely as possible?
I can’t wait—I am riveted already! After all, we too (your readers) are visual beings…..
November 22, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Well this was four months ago so the piggy purse and cock ring weren’t around then. But, who knows, if it gets picked up and made into a long running series….
…Oh, get out of it! All of you. It’ll be a tiny piece of nothing. But a tiny piece of nothing based on me. And it will have my real voice, but not face. Not unless they have stitched me up!
November 23, 2007 at 1:17 am
That’s actually really cool. Is there any way those of us on the other side of the pond will be able to see this? Can you put it on YouTube?
And it’s not a tiny piece of nothing. This is what you’ve been saying you want- to change the images of Fem Dom that are floating around. Well, here it is! This is going to be a powerful image for a lot of people.
Images have power. I hope that they do a good job of it.
I will be pissed (but probably not 1/100th as pissed as you) if the scene they recreate includes a woman in a corset and stiletto heels, all vinyl and rubber and crap. My fingers will be crossed that they manage to capture the spirit of what makes you, and this blog, special.
November 23, 2007 at 1:41 am
Real voice: check.
Face hidden: check.
Reconstruction of a man getting hit on the face: double check.
All the bits of me presenting/interviewing other bloggers were cut though: now you just hear the replies people gave, and don’t see or hear my questions. Such is the way filming/editing goes…
November 23, 2007 at 3:36 am
They even sent a camera crew over to my place to film me digging that ditch and toiling in that field. They had to shoot from the back and side, but I certainly gave them quite a bit to work with.
Well… sort of. After they set up the lighting it was time for my tea break. Then I cleaned off the shovel and got into the hole, but by then the sun had moved. By the time they got the lighting back in tune, it was time for my lunch break. And I needed to take an extra long break so I could run some errands; stop at the bank, drop off my tux at the dry cleaners, pick up a couple of library books.
By the time I got back it was time for my afternoon tea break, so I made a chicken sandwich; except that I had to cook the chicken first. Then I got changed and came out to toil in that field some more, but oddly enough, by the time I came out the crew had left.
Odd, that.
Anyway, it looks like there wont’ be any of me in that show. I’m sure it’ll be a great addition to the regular Beeb lineup.
They told me that the part of Beej was going to be played by Victoria Beckham. With a strap-on.
November 23, 2007 at 4:33 am
Mind you, if there ever were a Beej the movie, we’d all be waiting breathlessly for you to introduce yourself: Jones, Bitchy Jones.
November 23, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Congratulations on the doc,Bitchy!
Perhaps I can watch it through cable…even appearing to be a crime scene re-enacting :D.
November 23, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Meanwhile those of us without channel four or without TV are of course hoping to somehow get to watch that re-enacted face slap via internet…
If consumed by curiosity, we can go to Maymay’s blog and listen to your podcast interview .
November 24, 2007 at 11:12 am
Good work Jones, I am guessing we will see you on Crimewatch UK, where you will be charged with offences against creative writing. I recommend you plead guilty and ask for any earlier blogs and teenage diaries to be taken into account.
November 24, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Oh lord, the Sex Blogessy?
I can hardly wait to see how they’ve presented us.
Who do you want to play you in the movie?!
November 24, 2007 at 5:36 pm
She had already answered that. Samantha Morton in a fat suit. Right?
November 24, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Are you excited to see how you’ve been reconstructed for TV? I think the whole thing is really exciting - but if it were me I would be on pins and needles hoping that the “reconstruction” didn’t end up mis-portraying me. Though I’m sure the girl wouldn’t let that happen to you.
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