April 10, 2008...10:11 am

Dreaming’s All I Do

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Lately, in my head, has been a man. And he is quite insistent. Not going anywhere. His hands are tied behind his back.

Tied with rope. That’s odd for me. Not handcuffs. Not duct tape. Rope. Rough, tight rope. Tight and firm enough to make his muscles bulge as he tests its strength.

I have to imagine all this you understand. Finding any kind of representation of what is in my head outside of the barrier of my skull just isn’t happening.

This is partly ’cause I am very specific and partly ’cause I am continually and, yes, still, frustrated by the persistent idea that tied up women are some kind of default in kink. That if an image is of someone tied up it is always – always! - of a woman. Like here, here and here.

A lot of times you see the idea that women tied up somehow ‘works’ better. Like women are more flexible, more aesthetic, more sexily helpless. Such bollocks. Men faced with a clumsy doof like me need any number of layers of bondage to make them helpless. And bondage enhances the male physique so much better than the female. Hands tied behind the back makes arm muscles flex. (Remember the bicep? The man muscle. The let me see how big your muscles are so I can assess how long you can fuck hard for muscle).

Hands tied behind back also enhances that beautiful triangle. It pushes the chest out and makes the shoulders wider. (Not that you’d ever know this unless you get a man an tie him up yourself. Or look at gay porn or prodom sites until you cry about how excluded you are from your own sexuality)

I propose that for one week only - how about the first week of May? - every picture posted on the internet of a person tied up should be of a man tied up. Right there in the mainstream. Not only in the gay and for-pay ghettos. Let’s do that. See if the fucking world explodes, eh?

Fucking, *fucking* kink. Thinks it’s so fucking liberal and is so fucking obviously only about the pleasures of men. (and sometimes the pleasures of queer women, but really, that’s just a titillating side order to the pleasures of men. (And don’t think I don’t know that most submissive men are so self-hating/gender confused they would rather look at pictures of tied up women too.))

And I, meanwhile, get nothing. Nothing ‘cept the pictures in my head. It’s nicer there.

His hands are tied behind his back. And he’s gagged. Gagged in a lazy brutish way with a wadded strip of white material. (Gags aren’t really about preventing speech so much as humiliation. That’s all they’re really for. Putting something into someone’s mouth they can’t get out. That’s just a little power kick. And, anyway, I like talk.)

His gag could be a large handkerchief, tea towel or – in a different fantasy – his own tie, but here it’s a strip torn from his shirt. And he’s still wearing the shirt. Mostly. It’s unbuttoned and fallen half way down his upper arms. And it’s destroyed. Not just the strip ripped off for the gag but also the back of it is shredded. Cut to ribbons.

He has facial bruising, a cut lip, a black eye. He’s being supported by two more men, because he can hardly stand. He’s looking at me, eyes flashing evils.

And I haven’t laid a finger on him. But he knows who I am, what I am, I’m the person who could make it stop…

And I’m lazy. I’m like Pilate. I’m shaking my fucking head, baby.

18 Comments

  • “He has facial bruising, a cut lip, a black eye. He’s being supported by two more men, because he can hardly stand. He’s looking at me, eyes flashing evils.

    And I haven’t laid a finger on him. But he knows who I am, what I am, I’m the person who could make it stop…”

    Ooooohhhhh….yummy!

  • Dammit Bitchy . . . just accept that you’re a dude when it comes to sex and start cruising the gay bdsm sites — Google “gay bondage” and whee!!! Or try to stomach something like insexm, which reminds me more of a reality TV endurance show than porn.

    But your head is really where it’s at . . . and mine too. Given a hard drive full of smut, tailor made for my twisted libido, I’d rather think about the woman in accounting who wears the power suits and who gave me a condescending once over in the hallway the other day. The mind reels.

    - C

  • I’m a dude when it comes to sex?

    FUCK OFF.

    ‘Cause I like sex. And I like to look at things that turn me on. And I like porn.

    That makes me ‘a dude when it comes to sex’. Really. Most offensive thing I’ve heard in ages.

    I don’t want to look at gay porn because I want my porn to acknowledge that I exist.

  • i love you.

    and yeah, i think like this too.

    have you seen gossip girl? its awful on nearly every level - shallow, sexist, classist, boring, narcissitic, etc…

    theres a man in it whose the normal good looking bad boy. whos rich and keeps pouting and thinks the world is his to fuck with, and so far it has been.

    i have a fantasy of kidnapping him, chaining him up (rope gets too tangled up for me) and whipping, cutting, licking and biting him. until he likes it. until it breaks him and he comes out the other end as someone else.

    and then i remember that although IRL i would never never play unconsensually, and am actually very nice and mild, that if i heard about a man who had fantasies like that about a woman i would be seriously disturbed.

    and even the fact that when i play like that my OH loves it and begs for more, even whilst he has tears in his eyes and is hating it, it gets him off cos it gets me off helps, but. i still worry. how can i have sexual thoughts like these and not be like those men who i hate who threaten me on a dark night when no ones about, and i hope like hell i get home alright.

    we’re all fucked up, bitchy. i am nice to puppies tho.

  • Not rope, but still nice:

    http://melissa.tumblr.com/post/31302565

  • God, that is nice.

    I’ll be in my bunk

  • I am a submissive man — most of the time, unless my wife tells me not to be — and I would much rather look at lesbian BDSM than straight, male-sub BDSM most of the time. And it’s because if I’m going to look at men tied up and beaten, I want them to be big and burly like me. I do not want fey, long-haired beauties. I do not want thin, pale men. If I’m going to look at long hair and thin, shapely limbs, I feel as if I might as well just cut out the middle-men and look at women.

    However, until Ray Stevenson of “Rome” starts doing BDSM porn, I’m bound to be disappointed at a steady 80% of male submissive/female dominant porn.

  • meninpain is frequently pretty sexy

    euro is a great bulky sub

  • There’s a couple there who manage to be big and broad enough to function as surrogates for me in my imagination, but they tend to be the minority.

    I’m so picky. Really, submissives need to look like longshoremen and dominants need to look like thirty-five year old soccer-moms with that roundness that comes with middle-age. And those haircuts, the ones that come from Supercuts. I want to think, “These two kinky animals are living next door to me and I could run into them at the market.”

    Middle-class BDSM porn. The world needs it, to prove that Joe and Jane Minivan beat the fuck out of each other and it’s not just fetish models.

  • I have another picture for you. And it has rope!

    http://russell.crowe.free.fr/Images/Photos/Photos_sexy/colin_attache2.jpg

  • Another ugly girl
    April 11, 2008 at 5:04 am

    I second Kate’s comment.

  • “He has facial bruising, a cut lip, a black eye. He’s being supported by two more men, because he can hardly stand. He’s looking at me, eyes flashing evils…”

    You’re right, Bitchy. We need minions. (Anyone who’s ever gotten a faraway look in her eyes when someone jokingly says, “I’ll hold ‘im, you hit ‘im…” knows I’m right.)

    Those gasp-inducing photo links, by the way, are proof that reading the comments on this blog is always worth it…

  • Here is one I found from Twisted Monk’s blog– http://delanobound.com/dbound_free/galleries/SkyeDeLano/index.htm

  • God, you know, don’t think I don’t appreciate these pics. I haven’t seen Jack for 18 days and I really, really do. But, I have to say, these pretty crumbs don’t change the fact that tied up women are still the default. The company logo, the splash page, the only thing those fucking awards think it is necessary to portray.

    More equality in the portrayal of who *always* gets tied up could change perceptions of kink in the wider unfriendly world more than we know

  • Pirate librARRy
    April 11, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    I love the way you use language to increase tension.
    Rough, tight and firm describe the mechanics, persistent frustration the emotion (of which)?

    Pilate knows, eh?

  • I agree that it sucks that 90% of bondage photos are of women tied up. Even worse, most of those rare pics of tied boys are produced by and for gay men, leaving women out of the loop altogether.

    I got distracted by the sexy stuff in the post and comments and totally missed your point. You said, “I like pictures of men in bondage, but there are not enough of them.” And all I heard was “MEN IN BONDAGE!!!!!!!!!” Huh.

  • Bonus points for the Firefly reference!

  • Ha! I also loved the “I’ll be in my bunk” reference.

    Arousing twist at the end of this fantasy.

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