How else could we get women to dress up to indulge our tacky sexual fantasies?

This is hardly a radical observation and can be seen in any environment rich and/or famous but ugly fat men congregate. Yes I know money doesn’t bring happiness and should be searching for me lasting charming and intelligent traits in their partners, but sadly most people would like the benefit of the doubt.

You may say Femdom is “charmless, brash and stupid, has no sense of irony and no sense of fashion, aesthetics and no class” but that description could apply to any bar/club meat market on a Friday night.

You might feel more at home hanging around the South Bank to meet witty, wise sophisticates but you will only not find a shortage of crudely dressed high heeled women to bitch about; academics have big wallets and indexed linked pensions as well.

Therefore if F/m as a scene is loads of Pro Dommes then you could just take the individual circumstance of how 1 Pro Domme is a job founded on the lack of acceptance of F/m then times it by 100,000.

Its just sociology, I blame subs too though its not as if 10% of Dommes contacts aren’t offering them money whithin an environment that the main / only viable existance is as a Pro.

According to simple logic (not opinion) by relation a Pro Domme is wishfull thinking if she thinks she will find a boyfreind, thats pretty obvious when we consider most Dommes aren’t around although reading between the lines it would seem that Pro Dommes wouldn’t be interested in actually dating a $ub. I think this is a poinient factor if we are to consider how much a vested interest Pro Dommes claim to have in the scene.

Nobody F***s with £150-£250 an hour (or whatever rip off it is) it F***s with you.

lol

Straw man. There’s a whole world of shades of grey between “BJ’s criticisms of femdom are distortions” and “there is nothing wrong with femdom”.

Putting the cart before the horse. “the way [femdom] fails dominant women” already assumes that there is something wrong with femdom, prejudging the question. Even if femdom were perfect (which I grant it isn’t), how could anyone possibly answer, “Nah, there’s nothing wrong with femdom,” given the immediate implication that it fails dominant women in just the right way?

Utterly lame

One had an awful habit of whinging to me about her love life I can’t see why though its not as if she hasn’t made a career out of the repression of her own sexuality must be half asleep or something.

I think this thread really points out why Femdom is a no go area for many.

Perhaps alternatly to the weird stuff here about male subs supposed to be unnatractive etc, one could say there is something uniquely erotic about submitting to a member of the fairer sex with 1o times less testosterone because the initial apparent grounds make there more skewed power psychologicaly while knowing that the biggest sexual organ is the brain and sex is all psychological anyway.

Here’s what I think: Sometimes femdom is indefensibly awful. Sometimes I am uncomfortable with myself. And sometimes I think femdom has a kind of sub-awfulness where it doesn’t give me a space to me a doubting self-loathing mess.

Sometimes I don’t see the difference.

Not that I think the ideas I write about (including the above) are all about me not being happy with who I am – but I will admit that it is sometimes fueled by reasons other than the delivery of piercing shards of truth.

(Now I feel bad that I have said that a buried it in the comments. I’ll try and write a post about it.)

You’ve gone from this :

“the wider world of horrible femdom.” – BJ

and now redefined it, adding another negative :

“I also do not like the male-authored representation of my sexuality. I call them both horrible.” – BJ

I think you’re still looking for reasons not to accept other peoples versions of your `frightening’ sadism. Your sadism has been described by a man, so I could reject you as male-authored. But that would be bollocks. The wider world of femdom has *mostly* been described by men, yes, but its just a real as the sadism in you. It all needs to be accepted and understood. By hating the different versions of sadism and masochism in others, you are making it harder to accept your own, because they’re probably related.

“This is the most misogynistic sexual sub culture in the world.” – BJ

There’s absolutely no way your last statement is true, sorry. But perhaps another example of the demonizing of female dominance.

Yes of course there are things wrong with femdom, lots of things and it is too focused on male fantasies. Hopefully we can agree on these two things about femdom. We need to work harder at representing its femaleness. We need to work harder at accepting the real diversity of femdom and fetishism.

But please, dont throw out the baby with the bath water.

But perhaps over the time more dom women will venture into making hetero porn as well. That would be nice.

Photographers: I so agree, I would love to see this too!