All About Bitchy
This is a blog by a dominant woman who is not asking for your money. Who does not have a pay area where you can see photos of my feet. Who does not link you to any kind of fucking wishlist.
That’s because I only want one thing from you. I want you to change the world. Femdom’s broken and by just reading these words you are agreeing to help me fix it.
27 Comments
March 8, 2007 at 5:30 am
Bitchy -
I just found your blog and I’m in stitches. My God, I mean Goddesss, er, I mean, er I mean non-existent fictional deity, you are a scream.
I’m only halfway through, but I’ll be back to finish up…..and I’ve got you loaded in my Google Reader. Can’t wait to hear what the evil Krystal is up to next. (I’m really only reading for Krystal…she’s so compelling, and terribly attractive, no wonder you feel inadequate.
)
Thanks!
Elizabeth
March 8, 2007 at 8:29 am
Hi Elizabeth. Thanks very much. Yes, no one knows aboutt his blog. It is highly sekrit. *Shush*.
I think Krystal only does girl/girl when guys are watching. Then again, with Krystal, guys are *always* watching.
March 26, 2007 at 10:30 pm
I just read every entry of your blogs - absolutely hysterical. Thankyou!
Is there any chance at all of you getting an RSS feed running so that those of us who read hundreds of blogs can see whenever you post new content?
Thankyou
March 26, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Thanks Aaron.
Good point. There is a feed. I’ll put it on the front page where everyone can grab it.
March 26, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Or, er, not. It’s here anyway
http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/feed/
March 31, 2007 at 2:09 pm
great blog - I am a feminist and a submissive which is always an interesting dichotomy and causes some anguish in my otherwise normal life. And of course - I am an alpha female in that otherwise normal life. Big job, big responsibilities - submission is my escape from the daily grind.
Regardless, your comments on being kinky and what you really want from men are great…I loved your comment about I can be on my back and still be on top.
Fabulous stuff…
March 31, 2007 at 5:23 pm
I have a couple of friends who are feminists and submissives. It can be a tricky balence, but so long as you believe in your right to the kind of sex that gets you off hardest, then I don’t see any contradiction.
April 1, 2007 at 4:45 pm
It’s nice to see a woman - Ms. Bitchy - also comment on why female dominance and feminism are mutually exclusive in the minds of many. I’m more of a radical feminist in thought and approach because I wish to rid the world of patriarchy and it’s related evils and live in a world that is more female dominated and compassionate - Matriarchal in tone and flavor.
john
April 1, 2007 at 5:07 pm
I don’t like patriarchy. I can’t see why matriarchy would be any better.
I belive in equality.
I love d/s. It’s in every part of me and always has been.
But I’d stop if I thought it wasn’t compatible with equal human rights for all.
October 9, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Bitchy;
My Owner just turned me on to your website. YOU’RE WONDERFUL!!!
More power to Bitchy!!
Thanks for telling it like it is.
Vi Johnson
Author:
To Love, To Obey, To Serve
December 5, 2007 at 10:29 pm
I LIKE your blog. I got to here, dunno how, maybe Isabella Valentine, then Zen Fetish, then you, and THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
December 11, 2007 at 8:02 pm
There are no words…Your blog is made of truth and everything good. Thank you!
December 17, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I just found your blog and I am of course back reading. Thank you for expressing what I often have trouble explain about when I top someone and they don’t understand that I am not the typical Domme when I play with men.
January 19, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Google sent me somewhere right for once. I was just starting to think that all FemDom meant having to sissify the male and needing to enjoy that.
If I wanted a maid, I’d get a maid.
Thank you for calling for a return of a strong male, for being able to love the man for being a man and still enjoying watching him crawl around on his knees. I feel much more in tune with my inner Domme.
Thanks, Bitchy.
February 3, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Just found your blog and have been reading the archives….
Wow.
Preach.
It’s funny how someone can come along and point out the truth of something we all have been accepting in its false state. But once you hear that truth, you can never look at that thing the same way again. You don’t want to or need to. Whether the thing in question is yourself or some practice you’ve been following.
Thank you BJ!
February 7, 2008 at 5:36 am
As a professional Domme, I *want* to take offense to your condemnation of my profession… really, I want to, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know the Dommes of which ye speak: the self-righteous, intentionally intimidating power-grubbers who make men afraid of their own submissive inclinations, and you’re right; these types of women are damaging to everything they profess to hold dear.
Understand that we are not all that way. Some of us really, truly get off on sharing hot, mutually constructed scenes with clients who find it more convenient to pay than to search for a play partner. I would hope that you don’t begrudge a woman for making a living doing something she loves, because especially as a pro, I see a lot of the aftermath that the cruel, detached Mistress leaves behind. Keep up the blogs… I know I’ll be reading!
February 7, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Yeah, okay, but I’ll tell you what I do begrudge:
The fact that when you say clients who find it more convenient to pay than to search for a play partner, what you actually mean is clients who are lying to a partner who trusts them.
February 7, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I think that whether my profession is prostitution or not is irrelevant… I am comfortable seeing it as such, but I do not believe that it invalidates what I do. If you enjoy writing, and choose to do it for a living, then are you less valid as a writer? Should you exclusively write for free if you love it?
And, yes, I have carefully considered the cheating sub issue. First of all, I don’t feel like I’m in an ideal position to judge on a case by case scenario, any more than a waitress is in an ideal position to judge who is too fat to be served cheesecake, even if they may be lying to or disobeying their doctor. I *do* have single clients, who lie to no one about their visits with me, and I also have clients who are partnered with vanilla women. Unfortunately, kink is on par with homosexuality two decades ago; there is a stigma. Men rarely marry for great sex, and it can be difficult in a closeted community to find someone who would make a great mother, partner, and friend… and also wants to tie you up and spank you.
If a man has always craved submission, and his wife of fifteen years is a missionary-only kind of girl, then should he leave her? What if everything else is really good? Should he deny his deep down desire to submit, as he obviously *thought* he could when they got married in the first place? Or should he get a mistress, and if so, what should he tell the mistress about his situation? It’s not an easy decision, and it isn’t my decision to make for him. I know that in this scenario, I feel that paying someone to spend an hour or more indulging your submissive side is one of the safest bets. I won’t call for anyone’s divorce, and I won’t date a client. Compared with the alternatives (unsatisfying sex life, divorce, or a girlfriend on the side), I think it’s a very reasonable option.
I do love to see happily kinky couples, though, and I know that dominant women are out there, but they’re not necessarily easy to find. The collarme.com ratio of dominatrix/male sub is 1:4 in my area. It’s just the tragic luck of Darwinism that willing women *in general* tend to be more difficult to come by than willing men.
February 8, 2008 at 10:29 am
Sometimes on Elise Sutton type sites there is a section for women that says stuff like: ‘Surely it’s better that you dominate your man than he go to a pro’. That’s another problem with pros - that they are used as a threat to make vanilla women take on a sexuality that isn’t their own and isn’t much fun (see blog for details)
And I can’t feel happy with helping men cheat. Yes, they’re more to blame, of course they are - but a lot of prodoms seem to glory in stupid wifey who has no idea. How different is My wife won’t top me from My wife doesn’t understand me?
You wouldn’t have a relationship with someone who was hurting someone who trusted them (I *wouldn’t*). But if it’s a livelihood there is less chance to make active choices like that - bills to pay - hence the justification of helping men cheat. Which is, what? 80% of your business.
February 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm
With all due respect, I don’t think you have really addressed the points made in MsChaos’s last post.
I’m in exactly the position she describes. I’m a very happily married man. I have always craved submission, but my wife is very vanilla and is just not interested (we’ve talked about it and tried it, but it doesn’t do anything for her at all). I have no intention of leaving her; we have a lovely son, we are deeply in love - we do have vanilla sex, but it is unsatisfying for me. What do you suggest a man like me does? Resign myself to the fact that I will never have my deepest desires realised?
Or visit a pro and get some kind of satiation of my desires, even though it is cheating on my wife?
February 22, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Let me rephrase the question for you:
I made a mistake. Who should suffer for that, me or my wife?
February 22, 2008 at 5:46 pm
With respect, it wasn’t a mistake. I know I wrote in my previous post that “I have always craved submission”, but in fact my submissive desires did not fully surface until after I was married. At the time I married my wife, I expected to have a wholly satisfying vanilla sex life with her. And things have turned out rather differently. So, the question remains.
February 22, 2008 at 6:00 pm
What I disagree with is the lying. I’m polyamorous. I don’t like cheating (and - like most poly people - I think helping people cheat is cheating. The only people who don’t seem to quite think like this are poly sex workers who seem to do an incredible bit of double think in this area).
My objection is when prodoms say to me don’t knock us we’re providing a service to people who find paying more convenient when I know the convenience issue is really so often about lying to people who trust and care.
Maybe try the question this way: Are you asking me if it’s okay to lie and cheat to get what you want? I say no.
February 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Oh, and actually I think you did make a mistake. No one else made it for you. If you made it because you weren’t fully aware of some aspects of your sexuality, well, that’s still something no one but you can take responsibility for.
April 14, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Hi Bitchy,
I ran across your blog on Donna Queens site and I have to add that I love your blog! I am having a problem with my hubby not liking that I have a Dominate side to me and try to seduce him but he brushes me away and why? I have no idea. You can go to my blog and read it and maybe you can leave me a some pointers on the comments to maybe help me out abit.
I love your blog and if you wouldn’t mine I would love to post a link to your blog from mine as well.
A Lady Wild at Heart
April 17, 2008 at 4:39 am
Do you still like bald headed boys and bald headed girls[your fetish] then get in touch with me. I shave smooth bald ul=nless I let it grow out for some woman who likes hairless and bald headed men to shave.
May 20, 2008 at 2:36 am
Female superiority is a belief not a game. I think for a man to truely apperciate a woman is to submit to her. I’ve never been attracted to physical beauty. To me a woman is only beautiful when her mind is. Sex appeal comes from the mind. 16 years military special forces says that a man can still be a man and submit mind, body and soul, being a man about it and not a wimp. True beauty is the look of pleasure in her eyes as she relishes in her power, when she knows its not a game, its the way it is and she does things because she can…Bitchy Jones you are all woman truely beautiful and stunning in your pureness.
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