Who’s A Pretty Boy* Then?

Hey, so, I have a question. And this is what it is:
How come submissive men aren’t the best looking bunch of fucking men in the fucking universe?
And I don’t just mean how come this isn’t true for my pathetic cheap frills in my otherwise pretty pointless window of wakey-wakey-consciousness.
And look, what I am talking about [...]

Good Arguments

Recently I received some plaintive emails from some hapless lover of sane argument and sane sanity, saying, Bitchy Jones, please come and be on Fetlife and be interesting and engaging on Fetlife.
I said no. I’m mean. But also, Fetlife is horrible.
I do sometimes type my name into the search on Informed Consent. IC is like [...]

Wind Me Up: Watch Me Go

And obviously you know that when I say ‘wind me up’ I’m not talking clockwork – steampunky dominatroid, I ain’t. Sorry. Oh, stop crying. In another life maybe: the one where we all get it right.
But before utopia, let’s enjoy my latest prodom complaint in full
Bitchy,
Just a few thoughts I wanted to share.
There’s a lot [...]

Foxy (not a reference to the dumper bound DJ Dr Fox – in case you were wondering)

So here’s interesting. It’s an article from Fox News site sent in by a kindly reader about how to become a prodom. 
This article isn’t going to be heading all snarkily for Fox News, even though I understand them to be read by the kind of people who like using the ‘gay’ as an insult. (Seriously, [...]

Bondage Awards FFS!

A while ago I sent a few emails to websites and kinky organisations that had wound me up by only ever using pics of tied up women – just being a bit of a pissy bitch and saying ‘Hey, how come you think only women get tied up in your so-called inclusive kink world?‘. That [...]

Fucking With Me

First things as first things. I am nominated for an award. Go and vote for me to win an award. Come on, come on, because, you know, if I win an award I might be able to stop fucking crying. 
(Um, that is probably slightly melodramatic. But still vote for me.)
Then – caution and bewares: If [...]

Vulgarities

If I were rich…
Though that’s a strange thing to even think about because I don’t now how I could live with being rich in a world like this one. I grew up with some amount of rich and found it mostly not interesting. So another box I don’t tick is the one where the dominant [...]

Bond

I have never seen a James Bond film. I don’t go a whole big bunch on films anyway. I mostly find them a bit depressing and alienating. But it kind of feels like the latest James Bond film has decided to pitch itself very firmly at my demographic of one. I have said before that [...]

Are You Reading Me?

Recently I read this post by Belle de Jour. I don’t usually read her but this was linked to on Informed Consent and I went clickying though.
I do kind of wish I hadn’t. She is quite annoying. First there is a dig about people who write pretentiously: in blogworld, demonstrable ownership of a thesaurus is [...]

Unbreakable

On Saturday night that TV show I did last year was repeated. And even though I did know it was happening I didn’t expected anything because that had already happened with the whole me being mortified about what my voice sounds like and ten bazillion people googling Bitchy Jones and then either being thrilled [...]

Prepare to be Enraged

As if I wasn’t worked up and angry and snarky enough, I actually have people sending me thing to wind me up further. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good rage, but I’m just saying: sometimes I don’t go looking for stuff – sometimes it pops into my inbox.
So a good friend of mine [...]

A Great Dominatrix

- You know that woman at the petrol station? Well, she short changed me and when I complained she made a grumpy face. She’d make a great dominatrix!
- You know the girl I get to wax the disgusting hair off my upper lip? Sometimes she smiles while she is doing it. She’d make a great [...]

Pretty Vacant

One of the odd things about Club Pedestal – which is entirely not the fault of Club Pedestal itself, just something I noticed for the first time really being out and about among my ilk for the first time in forever -: it really is funny how money changing hands changes everything.
And how men’s desirability [...]

Bitchy Jones, What Have You Done?

You know what I say:
I say, there are as many dominant women as there are submissive men. There are enough for one each. It could all be fine. Bunches of women are more than capable of being turned on by male submission ‘cause it is hot.
But those women aren’t here because they are driven away [...]

Dominatrixing: So Over

(From Grazia Magazine’s What’s In, What’s Out for 2008)
Get Over:
DOMINATRIX
Leather PVC and studs were always going to be a hard look to carry off without looking like you charge by the hour.
Thanks Grazia Magazine for equating my sexuality to (a) a costume and (b) something women only do for money and, in just one sentence, proving [...]

Help Yourself

I’m not here to make men better. I don’t care enough. I’m not here to initiate any kind of self improvement programmes. I’m not here to nag men into being better human beings.
I’m not here to help anyone lose weight or buff up or learn to tap dance.
And I’m really not here to be resented. [...]

Orgasm Control and Male Chastity Stuff and Why That’s Fun

In 1999 – when I was 26 – I first got the internet and went looking for porn. I am – for the most part – still looking. Nice F/m porn where he suffers and the people directing it accept that some people might want to see him centre frame – still not happening anywhere [...]

I am a Dominant Slut

You know what I fucking love? I fucking love to get fucked. With Pan and I, there’s barely even a conversation – just an eleven o clock shrug and we’re in bed and it’s happening. When Jack walks through the door he’s practically fucking me hello in the time it takes to get out of [...]

You Too Can Be a Professional Asshat

I *was* surfing for something fun to do with Jack. But I was already getting tired of reading about Mr Sir’s suggestions of piss ice lollies etcetera and primed and mildly irritated when I stumbled upon this.
And I’m reading it and thinking how fucking annoying it is. And then I remember – oh yuh, this [...]

Unicornucopia or Why Are All Dominant Women Such Fucking Ass-hats?

You think I’ve gone soft now I’m in a squishy place with my stable stable of men? Think a-fucking-gain. Everything’s still fucked.
Sometimes I shout at submissive men (you might have noticed). Sometimes I tell them to make everything better. Sometimes I say that they have the money, the power, the hard bodies that they could [...]

Little Wonder

I’m not in any kind of scene. I don’t go out a lot. I like to write my blog and think my thinks. I’m not even very active online. I’m not a big participator in forums or anything. I’m no one really. Not part of any gang. Never really found one that did it for [...]

The Unfairest of Them All

I am a beautiful, bewitching, magnificent, delightful, beautiful, gorgeous, elegant, beautiful, incredible, attractive superior domina goddessessess: as soon as you see me in my magnificence you will have no choice but to submit.
You’re not on the wrong blog, btw. That was satire.
But it’s pretty much what you get on many of the multiple and myriad [...]

My Hero

So the other day someone mentioned in the comments of this post that submissive men might not be the most likely people to save the world seeing as how submissive men are no very superhero-y. How are they going to fly with that testicle weight attached?
But of course, here is where I smile sagely at [...]

Why Only Submissive Men Can Save the World

I have been hanging around on BDSM chat rooms and forums for years and, yeah, I’ve (occasionally) been to real life stuff too (how else do you think I am so damn well informed) and I have seen it all before.
And of course, when I say how much I *heart* male submission and wibble on [...]

Here Kitty, Kitty

Today’s question: How did femdom take oral sex (which is nice – duh!) and turn it into pussy worship (which is fucking vile)?
How did this happen? How did I end up in a sexual subculture where I would start to find endless offers of oral sex tiresome? How did you spoil oral sex? Seriously, how [...]