I like them big cocks, I like them small cocks. I like them hard cocks. I like them soft cocks. I like them thick cocks. I like them narrow cocks. I like…

All I really want to say is how much I love cock. That box under my bed is really, more than anything, a testament to my love of cock-shaped things. I’m very unmaterialistic by nature. I have very few desires for *stuff*. Take no particular pleasure in shopping or the general acquiring of things. I prefer the library to the bookshop. I don’t even really care for being bought presents. (I am really not built for this dominant woman thing, am I?) The only things I seem to buy unnecessarily and (at the end of a long month, occasionally regretfully) are sex toys. Specifically vibrators and dildos. I linger in the shops that sell my objects of desire. Ask for the glass swirly ones to be brought out of the locked cabinets. Curl my fingers around the cool nubbly shafts. Close my eyes. Feel it.

I have been known to pause in the kitchen and hold a particularly lovelily shaped courgette for more than a moment and smile – just because it reminds me of my favourite thing.

Because it is that. The phallic objects are my fascination, my comfort and joy, purely because they remind me of the greatest thing of all. I am sitting in the library writing this right now and I find it impossible not to look at every man who passes me, every non-descript, crumpled, nothing-in-particular of a man and think that each of them has a cock, has a wonder of flesh-engineering hidden close at his centre. A delicate shadow of a thing at this moment perhaps, but its soft shape is the perfect chameleon circuit for its hidden hot and its hidden hard.

Cocks are magical. The transform and they are transformative. They are his power and his weakness. A kind of desperate strength. Are you really surprised I like them so much?

I think there is another reason the idea of CBT does very little for me. Okay it can work. It hurts. The sadist inside me uncoils when anything happens that hurts him. And I mean anything. Jack can turn me on just by pretending I am hurting him. If he twists his face just right, gasps, the memories of a thousand other times that expression was caused by not-so-nice stimulus rush up from my heart to my brain and then plunge down, down, down to where it matters most. I’m a sadist – there is no escape. His pain will always do something to me. But CBT, quite often, to a cock obsessive like me, seems to be a little like smashing up my favourite toys… a little like golden goose and all the trimmings.

Cock is my passion. My truest love. My one and only. My desert island wish.

But why are cocks not venerated more by heterosexual women. It seems like I hear more from het women about their love of boobies than their love of cock. In polyamory there is even a word: boobiesexual meaning someone (a woman) who loves boobies. Now (apart from the fact I feel like an emotional retard having just typed boobies that often), let me tell you, I get boobies. I understand. They feel nice. But! So do cocks. And in a direct competition I think cocks win because boobies, nice feeling as they are, don’t do anything. (I mean, for me, during sex, obviously they have a big and important job in the wider scheme of things.) So why is no one a cockosexual?

And, really, how come polyamory – or anywhere – has this boobiesexual concept from women (mainly) who love boobies, and there is no equivalent for men who love cock. Obviously the reason for this is that men who love cock have to be kept separately *over* *here*. But, ‘chaknow, I do wonder why yet again female bisexuality (or some version of it) gets this special treatment in another supposedly progressive sexual sub-culture.

(Once, I said to Jack, I wish you were gay, it would be so hot, and he said, No you don’t, I wouldn’t fuck you. And I said, No, you wouldn’t *want* to fuck me. But that is really another story.)

And talking of gay – how come gay men talk about cock in a way women just don’t? Gay men can wax about cocks (and probably wax cocks) rarely do you hear a woman just go on and on about her deep abiding mouth-watering, cunt-wetting, brain-fogging desire for cock.

Above all I think there is some kind of idea that liking wanting craving and needing cock is somehow a weakness. (In a way that men liking wanting craving and needing cunt just isn’t.)

Maybe it connects to the dark ages. To way back when feminism fell (or was it pushed) for an idea that needing and wanting and desiring men weakened women. That somehow wanting cock, wanting to be done to, craving that thing, that thrust, his strength, left women lost not found. This happens when freedom is fought for. Do we want to join with our oppressors or turn our backs on them? It’s Martin Luther King/Malcolm X dilemma. Or, depending on how you like your cultural references the Professor Xavier/Magneto one.

But that dilemma is extra complex when it comes to men and women because of desire. Women (for the most part) desire men. That means that falling for men, into their beds, into their hearts, onto their cocks, as active desire never weakens women. Because understanding and acting on your desires can never be weak. And saying that it does doesn’t actually have anything to do with real feminism. Or any kind of equality. Having desire and acting on it is strength. Knowing your desires is to know yourself, is strength, fulfilling your desires is to acknowledge your strength.

In fact the idea that loving and craving cock is weakness sounds more like a kind of faux-feminism getting in bed with that old femdom (and other misogynies) staple about getting penetrated being unfun. (Do me up the arse mistress, I *hate* that. So humiliating. Strap on wielding mistresses – do one thing for me – get fucked up the arse (properly and well) before you next use it as a ‘punishment’ ’cause it feels addictively awesome. )

The idea that wanting/loving/being a consumer of cock is weak can only be about the idea that getting fucked is weak, that taking up the female position during sex is inherently the weaker one.  That is bollocks and it is hard to see how any concept that endorses that (whether it be strap on sex being the pinnacle of femdom, the idea that dominant women can’t get fucked or any kind of keeping away from what you desire because it is feminine and therefore weak) can be in anyway good. And, yes, if you are a woman who *likes* being submissive, this is precisely a rallying call that doing what you desire is the most empowering and the most *feminist* thing you can do.

And this is why feminists have better sex. And I should know.

And I. Love. Cock.

And yes I know I am permanently enslaved by my desire for something that is not any part of me, something I do not have, something outside of me. But that’s the Wildean pleasure principle for you. The pleasures of my own body? Well, I was slightly drunk on them as soon as I hit puberty.

Now I want something more. And there’s that pleasure in scarcity. (Not that I have it that scarce now Jack and Pan both live with me – but still.) That sweetness that comes from having to work and wait for it – even if just a little.

His hard arms. The biceps. The real love muscle. Quivering with the tension as he holds himself and does what I desire.

All I really want to say is I love cock. Cocks are sex toys. Cocks make my day. Cocks make men into sex objects. Cocks make men into *pleasure* objects. You are the keeper of the key to my kingdom. Your only purpose is to take good care of it until I want it again.

The secrets and lies that cocks do not pleasure women, that getting fucked or sucking cock is not fun, is just a big cloud of fog to cover up the way that purely having a cock objectifies men. Makes them the sex objects. They have the sex object.

It’s time to change that. Time for straight women to claim men’s bodies as our pleasure objects in the way that men have always claimed ours. Make sure it is understood that what comes shooting out of his cock, way before the showstopper that is his whiteout, is my pleasure. I look at this way – on my body I have this thing, my clit, which is there just to give me pleasure, and on his body there is this thing, his cock, which is there just to give me pleasure.

And of course I want my pleasure. What could be weak or needy about that?

I love cock. I would not like to try and live without it. They come with men attached to them, but that’s just fine. I like to think of this less as an inconvenience more as a two for one deal. The thing that gives me pleasure comes bundled with free gift. A thing that can take the rubbish out and put shelves up.

My name is Bitchy Jones and I am a cockoholic.


Filed under cock, cock sucking, dick, everything is broken, feminism, I hate men, masculinity

34 responses to “Cockoholic

  1. My name is Epskee and I’m a cockoholic.

    There are some of us out here who go on and on and on and on about cocks and our love for them and of them, the desperate need that swells in our chest, in our gut, the mouth watering, pussy aching, finger tingling need for them. The way a naked cock in the room demands our full attention in that cant-drag-my-eyes-away-even-if-I-wanted-to kind of way.

    But of course I don’t want to. So I don’t.

  2. ephraim

    As a ftm trans man, reading this sort of kills me. But it also makes me feel so much more justified about the intensity and desperation that i have in wanting a fully functional, fully sized, flesh cock and the depth of grief i feel knowing that it’s just not technologically possible.

  3. M

    My name is M and I’m a cockoholic too.

    Just reading the word that many times has got me.
    The thought of the ones I’ve had.
    The thought of the ones I’m going to have.


    Excuse me…………………..

  4. Mmmm yes indeed, hear hear, amen to that, &c.

    Cocks look amazing and they feel amazing and holding one, touching it, squeezing it, sucking it, does it for me like nothing else can.

    Bitchy Jones, you continue to rock my world x

  5. lilithgirl

    “The secrets and lies that cocks do not pleasure women, that getting fucked or sucking cock is not fun, is just a big cloud of fog to cover up the way that purely having a cock objectifies men.”

    Thank you so much for writing that! And all of your blog by the way. I love your strength, honesty and feminism. It’s a blessing in this crazy little bdsm-world.

  6. Toni

    My name is Toni and I am a cock, at least thats what I have been told by so many former girlfriends, employees, family members…..

    I always wondered why you hear so many “straight” women say they prefer looking at naked women rather than naked men, naturally I just assumed all women are bisexual. I suppose a lot of it has to do with the change in what is considered beautiful, maybe you are a renaissance girl Jones, back then Michelangelo and Donatello celebrated the male image but now the female form is the accepted face of beauty.
    Have to say though, your objectification of men does feel odd, almost insulting – just goes to show that straight men such as myself are not used to hearing this kind of talk even though I know I am more guilty than most of objectifying women. I would say your latest post was thought provoking but I am after all just a cock with a male body attached and such analysis is beyond me.

  7. SPPJJ

    Girl with a one track mind has a chapter in her book about how she loves cock. I have to say I am in full agreement.

    I tell my boyfriend there are three people in our relationship: me, him and his cock.

  8. androgyne

    “And yes I know I am permanently enslaved by my desire for something that is not any part of me, something I do not have, something outside of me.”

    Just as true for men as for women. And it doesn’t mean they’re weak. Agreeing all the way on this one.

  9. ::applauds::

    As someone who has sported a cock for, um, a lot of years, I’ve often felt badly when my partners have acted all squeamish about it – as if they had no idea that most men are similarly equipped. In fact, when one partner took some time to go on about mine (the shape, the size, the veins, etc.), I felt rather strange about it, as if she shouldn’t be telling me such nice things about my cock.

    We men should be proud of them, of course – but sometimes it’s hard difficult when our partners avert their eyes, or act like that dangling appendage is simply an afterthought of Nature.

    And this is a continuation of the whacked-out concept that Dommes, i.e., other women, should never actually want to have intercourse with a man, especially their sub. Why is it treated as such an expendable object?

    Excellent post, Beej!

  10. Wendy Blackheart

    Hey now, I talk about cock like that. I love the cock. I could play with cock all damn day, flacid or hard. It feels different each way, and its fun and yummy and it does AWESOME THINGS. Especially to my butt. This is why I collect bisexual men – the cock. I like to be surrounded by dual use cock at all times. Because they’re fun to play with and watch. Yum.

    Ick, its been too long since I’ve had cock. Had the chance last month, but felt all icky. Stupid doctor.

  11. E

    For me, it’s all about context.
    In the heat of things, I love a cock. I’m thrilled to see it. I can barely decide whether to suck it or ride it. (If only I had TWO of them at once.)

    But the rest of the time, it’s just there. A silly little floppy thing on my boy’s crotch.

  12. Em

    “Jack and Pan both live with me”

    You lucky, lucky woman.

  13. Virginia Daring

    Oh, in the right mood…in the right mood you can get off just thinking about it, can’t you?

    Imagining the swell of it, the slight glisten, smooth and hard and smelling of sex…the feel of it making it’s way in…


  14. I, too, am a cockaholic. Thankyou for this post, and to the other penis-lovers who have also articulated their love of cock so damn well. Reading this has been a massive turn-on actually, and I just wish my fuck-buddy was going to be home when I get there soon, but alas I have to wait a few more hours.

  15. Maja

    Hi, my name is Maja, and I’m a cockaholic.

    I totally identify bitchy! I loooooove cock. And you know, my poor man, I totally objectify him when he’s all nakie by leering at him. Men are sex objects. Yummy yummy things, with yummy cocks. mmmm. cock.

  16. So many kinds, where can we start?
    we like them dumb and we like them smart.
    I like the ones with the pretty eyes,
    Well i like all kinds of guys.
    Stop. What happened, how about the ones we especially like?
    Which ones?
    You know the ones with the cars that go..
    I hear you..
    Hit it!

    ~ L’Trimm “Cars With The Boom.”

    Your opening just reminded me of it :)

    Oh, I share your addiction!

    – blogging FemSexBlogs

  17. Shuphrique


    Because they are a bit too available, if ya know what I mean…. They are fun(!) fabulous(!) treats, but just as Belgian chocolates and Taittinger lose their potency as inspiration when available all the time, everywhere, even pushed upon one, as it were, just so the cock.

    You don’t spend a lot of time waxing poetic about your craving when the means to satisfy it can be filling your time instead. Women have a lot more opportunity to be satisfying those cravings than men do in this world we’ve got nowadays.

  18. me

    mmm. nicely put.

    jack’s living with you now? you’re a lucky, lucky girl :)

  19. Mz Sue

    (Once, I said to Jack, I wish you were gay, it would be so hot, and he said, No you don’t, I wouldn’t fuck you. And I said, No, you wouldn’t *want* to fuck me. But that is really another story.)

    OOOH tell that story!!! *curls up for naughty bedtime story*

  20. wanderlux

    lady.lux lurvs her some cock.

    p.s. i tagged you! BAM.

  21. Arha

    I like cock, too. I really, really do. But I still wouldn’t advertise the fact to men in general, simply because I don’t want them to think they don’t need to pay attention to the clitoris and that Tab A Into Slot B IS, after all, enough in itself. That’s all.

  22. I love the look, feel, smell, pulsating skin of a cock.

  23. Arha- I would agree except I tend to like cock when attached to guys who know better than that. :)

  24. yangyin

    “Above all I think there is some kind of idea that liking wanting craving and needing cock is somehow a weakness. (In a way that men liking wanting craving and needing cunt just isn’t)”

    Perhaps that is simply because biology says women need to be more selective. (assuming you’re talking about fucking a cock) It’s more of a potential commitment because a child is possible. Even with modern birth control this is still true and it is still true that women in general are more selective than men. So rather than a weakness, its probably wiser for a women to be more selective and consider who’s cock it is.

    Women worshiping and craving cock and pallus’ is ancient; And so is men worshiping and craving cunt. My best relationships have been like that.

  25. My name is Tashamber and, I too, am a cockoholic.

  26. Desi-litre

    yangyin: “Selective”, huh? You’d think men would be thrilled to have women desire any cock. After all, it would radically increase their own changes of getting some pussy.

    Cock <3!!!

  27. femsup

    Being a custodian of the cock its nice to know I can be treated as a sex object.There is an arguement that men are just the carriers and custodians of the hot throbbing things between their legs and that they really belong to the women of the world.
    Because they stick out so they must be a sexual display thing.Rather like peacocks.Whoops getting close to that rubbish concept of the small dicked humiliation thing.Because they are a means of display they should be on view more readily.
    However I view one way of making them more noticeable problematical.The codpiece was supposed to draw attention to the member but to me it was akin in some ways to the bustle.It actually covers up what it is supposed to be higlighting.Then again male display in fashion in general was more pronounced in Elizabethan times.Strange when women were so repressed socially.

  28. Mim

    “They are his power and his weakness. A kind of desperate strength.”

    lovely phrasing. can I quote you on that?

    and I love cocks too. ^_^


  29. Lola

    Ms. Jones…I love you and am eternally grateful to you for sharing…My lover sent me the link to your site and I found myself emotionally moved to tears on more than one occasion.

    I must confess that I too, am a major cockoholic…

    I love the feel of the baby-soft skin…I love the taste and smell and the way it feels in my mouth…I adore how it seems to be so alive, so capable of letting me know how it is feeling…I love the powerful feeling I get when I dominate the cock and make it mine…stroking, kissing, sucking…licking…I get so incredibly turned on when I am seducing my lover’s sweet cock…and I love the moment of orgasm and the release of his sweet juice into my mouth…god, there’s just nothing like it!

    I’ve always felt like a bit of a freak for feeling this way…

    Thank you, all of you for your honesty and for giving all of us a forum which is so cathartic and affirming…

  30. Amb

    I love the point you made toward the end – that somehow being fucked from the female positions is “weak”, but in reality how can wanting something for your own pleasure be weak?

    I had one of the moments when I read this like “why have I never thought of this before?”

    And I love cocks as well.

  31. I know this is an old post, but I am inspired. I love cock. I have always loved cock since the first time I found one. Maybe before, when I was putting cock-shaped objects into my cunt. When I was an FTM I wanted to have a cock of my own, but more than that, I wanted to experience the cocks of other men. I have a wondrous collection of dildos in a pleasing range of shapes and sizes. Straight men are usually made uncomfortable by this, but they don’t realise that I am showing them my *love of cock*, so they have nothing to worry about. Anyways – yes, please – cock!

  32. BrianDS

    I’m at least partially cockosexual

  33. Dana

    Trying to figure out how to consolidate feminism with loving cock and being submissive has been breaking my brain for a year. I felt like a total hypocrite.

    I’ve been looking at this all wrong to begin with…

  34. VioletBunny

    I might be a cockaholic. All my sex toys have been broken. IE, no fun for me.

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