So, I guess it’s clear I’m not really updating anymore. There’s no big reason why… except, well, I’ve said it. I said it all, and then I kept talking quite a while after that.
In fact, I often think, I said it all within the first six months.
And although I could go on reiterating the same things because it’s not like this stuff is *fixed* now, or anything. (Apparently kink dot com have changed the name of Men in Pain to Divine Bitches, but we all knew that was coming. It was some kind of anomaly all along that a perversion porn site was called the name of what I like rather than what he likes. And the what he likes being a kind of she that is not me but in fact some kind of unreal dehumanised… see, I could go on. Maybe I should. I won’t.)
Kink’s broken. I hate it. I don’t really want to play. Something inside me does, but that something is trapped inside the meat of me that hates all this fucking pornified, PVC clad, patriarchy eroticising bullshit that stifles everything and anything good that kink could ever be. It is the enemy of any kind of creative artistic freedom and that’s a sad, sad thing, because it could be the opposite of that.
I’m more delicate than you know. More broken. More weak. I can’t keep trying to put these pieces together anymore. Not with so many people trampling over them in their boots. And I wouldn’t be the first, you know, to say it’s too hard, to say it’s not worth it…
No. It’s not all sad. Despite my penchant for the melodrama. This blog made an impact. A far bigger one than I ever dreamed. Most people in SM know about what I’ve said, the arguments I’ve made. They may not have changed their behaviour one bit but most kinky people understand what the Bitchy Jones view of femdom is. And that’s wild and out there now. And you can’t put the lube back in the tube.
People still email me – and I like, so do that – to tell me that this blog helped them, changed their views, explained their sexuality. That’s nice. You’re welcome.
I’m happy with what I did. There’s a little crack now that wasn’t there before. And maybe that’s enough. Keep me alive. Link to me and talk about me and that’s all it needs.
(Housekeeping: I’ll still respond to comments and emails now and then and I’ll tidy the site up and fix some kind of index over the next few months. I might write something else, but it could be a while. There are a couple of posts I promised and may finish, but regular blogging, no. Not here, anyway.)
THE END (you may now commence wild applause)